[ A bump of his head against the hand touching him, houndlike as ever. Clive will always bend towards the grace of Verso's affection, but it's the topic of the silver now-nested in his chest that gives him pause.
That should tell Verso all he needs to know: no, Clive hasn't mentioned it. Hadn't known how to, honestly. There'd never been an organic way to weave the subject of possible immortality (possible, only because he hasn't tried getting sliced in half by a Nevron to test whether his durability works on non-Dessendre-related interference) into the conversation, but this seems as good a time as any―
―or, well. They have to talk about it now, with Joshua frowning and leaning forward in his chair. "About what?"
Clive knows that look on his brother's face. The one that says I will be so upset if you keep this from me; it's the look that makes Clive buckle every time (not that it's hard― for the millionth time, he's a shitty liar, and especially so when it comes to Joshua). ]
You know how I can sometimes take others' chroma.
[ A weak start. Yes, Joshua is already aware, because he's seen Clive wield both Benedikta and Cid's elemental abilities. But now this roundabout explanation seems to rouse some suspicion, as pale blue eyes pass from Clive to Verso, trying to connect the disparate dots of Clive's semi-explanation. The silence that follows is a clear go on. ]
Well, it turns out that Verso's chroma is... compatible with me. I can't wield it, exactly, but... it's part of me now.
[ Joshua raises a brow. Surely his brother isn't saying all this just to gush about his lover, but... who knows....????? ]
[There's a pause after Clive finishes speaking. Verso's brow raises in a similar tune to Joshua's as he awaits a continuation that never comes. Not that he can fault Clive for struggling to put things to more specific words when, again, he himself is that dragon sat atop a hoard of truth, still reluctant to release most of the nuggets he keeps closest to his heart.
So, a soft sigh – understanding aside, he is still a Dessendre and Dessendres are hypocrites – and a shrug of one shoulder, head canting in the opposite direction, an air of unbothered casualness about him that squirrels away the deeper truths of how much Clive's presumed immortality still makes him feel like a goddamned curse.]
He inherited the Paintress' gift. Immortality, that is. I don't know what that means for the Nevrons or the other dangers out there, but Clea – their oldest daughter – she's almost as powerful as the Paintress herself, and she couldn't erase your brother.
[Another silence. Joshua's eyes narrow and his lips settle into a deeper frown before his lips purse, as if he's holding himself back from blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. After a moment: "May we never learn the full extent of what it means." There's something conflicted to his tone, though, like he isn't sure how he's supposed to take the news. He taps his fingers on his thigh. Shakes his head. Asks, "How do you feel about it?"
Verso looks over at Clive, a softness in his gaze, a tension in his shoulders.]
[ Answering as if Verso isn't here is very difficult when Verso is sitting right next to him, but he can try. Has to, even. It's less about unpacking what it means to be immortal (something he'll only understand after he lives the reality of it over time), and more about what he wants to do with it－ that's the only way Clive has internally approached the subject thus far.
His hand grips the crest of his knee, fingers curled inwards into the fabric of his standard-issue Expedition trousers. His brows knit in concentration, tension visible in that furrow. ]
Truth be told, it's difficult to know. I don't feel－ [ The hand lifts from his lap, and gestures vaguely. ] －different.
[ The same as he ever was, except for that shimmer of warm light in his heart whenever he reaches for it. Guiding, grounding. His palm settles over his chest, now. ]
But if this new longevity affords me the time and the fortitude to keep fighting... then I do see it as a gift. A way to ensure that I see things through to the end.
[ Until the world burns out, or he does. He'll whittle himself down to bone if need be; otherwise, what's the point in something like him continuing to live? ]
I said so before. Verso has been fighting all this time for us, and now it's my turn.
[About halfway through Clive's answer, Verso's focus flutters off to the side. There's never any dust in the manor, no cobwebs, no spiders stringing webs between unread books, awaiting flies that don't exist here, either. He has nothing to look at but a pretty little picture of a life nobody leads. Which is exactly what he doesn't want, but so it goes.
He'd seen it as a gift once, too, a sign that he could make things right. And while it would be dishonest to say that this new life, this wondrous love he's building with Clive, hasn't shifted him a little bit back in that direction, he still can't help but worry. The comedown from feeling like immortality is a gift is... it's brutal, and it's painful, and it's something Verso still struggles to recover from, all these decades later. But he is not Clive and Clive is not him, and Verso knows – he fucking knows – that if he fears the worst in these kinds of things, he'll never regain sight of the better.
Or something. Maybe Verso's just so lovestruck that he wants to believe that Clive's strong enough to never shatter in the same ways – or, perhaps, that he himself has untapped stores of strength that he can use to hold him together should the worst come to past. Maybe he's tired in ways different from the ones he's already claimed. Maybe he has no idea what he's doing.
None of them do, and there's something almost freeing about that, too. So, a sigh when Clive puts his foot down yet again about taking his turn. Then, to Joshua:]
He's going to be the end of us both, isn't he?
[Joshua laughs lightly, though there's still enough concern in his gaze to be noticeable. "I was thinking the same," he says, then adds, "But it's a noble goal indeed. To fight until you both can pass the torch to the next brave heroes of Lumiere. Though I must admit, as much as I want tomorrow to come for them... selfishly, I want it most for you, Clive."]
[ The world will find fifty different ways to break them before it offers a single way to heal them. That's the way life is― a series of things that are out of anyone's hands, given meaning by the way one chooses to react to them. The greatest lie that humanity has told itself is that moving forward is the same as progress; sometimes, forward is just a direction on a map. North is no more important than south, west no more significant than east.
Nevertheless, Clive remembers onward in Elwin's steady baritone. Better to move than to stand, grief-locked, in place. If he buckles, he really will be good for nothing.
He doesn't say that, of course. Instead, he receives Joshua's opinion with that same-old moment of vague incomprehension, not quite understanding what his brother could mean, because: ]
It already has. [ (See, when your entire life is about subtraction, any bit of addition starts to mean the world to you.) ] I have everything I could ever need in this room.
You two are the future.
[ Verso, Joshua. The both of them far more than Clive deserves. What else could he ask for? What more could he possibly want?
(The truth of the matter, Clive thinks, is that he's better-equipped to fight this fight than Verso is. Verso, whose sensitive heart is always at odds with the grim mission tasked to him by people who both are and aren't his family; Verso, who's forced to tear himself apart as he watches the world around them crumble.
Verso was never built to be hurt. Clive was. Verso had aspirations and dreams and talents. Clive didn't. It would be a far greater loss to the world, to lose someone like Verso.) ]
[If Verso could read minds, he would be anguished to learn what Clive is thinking. There is nothing in this world that hasn't been sacrificed, in one way or another, as a consequence of his existence. To have anyone clamouring to lay themselves on the Dessendres' altar for his sake – and under the presumption that he's more deserving of tomorrow, no less – would only push himself to fight harder, to bleed and burn and break more, to emphasise the self-perceived rightfulness of his claim on self-destruction.
But he can't, so instead he tries not to dwell on the notion of being described as the future. These proclamations mean something to Clive, he knows, drawn from depths deeper inside of him than Verso and Joshua could reach even if they together stretched themselves to their thinnest. There's nothing to gain from objecting to them outright.
He can still object a little, though.]
And you're mine, so. Stop acting like you don't need saving, too.
[And put yourself first sometimes while you're at it, he stops himself from adding. There are still no scales to balance. No pasts to compensate for by stepping in the way of each other's attempts at redemption and salvation. No overvaluing one life to undervalue another. Each a hypocritical notion, he suspects, but they both suffer from the same inclinations and he can't fathom being the first to back down, ever driven by that competitive spirit, by that innate arrogance of being at the epicentre of so much devastation.
"I don't mean to gang up on you, brother, but I'm of the same mind," Joshua chimes in, his tone caring the chiding lilt of a little sibling fully grown. "You've already done so much for me; ought I never to know the joy of doing the same for you?"]
[ Blue eyes widen, but the surprise quickly makes way for a lowering of the brows that speaks to the internal sentiment of I don't know what else I expected. Verso and Joshua are altogether far too kind for their own good. ]
If you want to do things for me－ [ With the practiced but not insincere air of an older brother chiding his younger siblings: ] －You can finish your breakfast.
[ Sliding the mostly-eaten sandwich back Verso's way (ignoring the fact that Verso has several decades on him in terms of life experience), as he turns towards Joshua next. ] And you can spend less time worrying about your wayward brother and enjoy your time with the other residents of the Continent. Lumière was always too small for your inquisitive mind.
[ And, with perhaps the naïveté of a man who has yet to experience the truth of what it means to be immortal, he shakes his head and eases into a vague half-smile. ]
Gift or no, I'm still the same as I ever was. Like Ifrit, this is another part of me to accept and press on with.
...Though, unlike Ifrit, having Verso's chroma is something I would always have chosen.
[ Maybe the hellhound rumbles a little unhappily at that, but Clive doesn't feel it. And if this feels like a diversionary tactic, maybe it is－ he isn't above those things, clumsy as he is with them－ but mostly, he can't bear the thought of people being too concerned about his wellbeing when he thinks he hasn't done anything to merit it. Pot, kettle. ]
[Said with a light laugh. Verso, too, isn't sure what else he expected, and with less of an idea of how to make a rebuttal, he takes his sandwich and eats it as told. Except far be it from him to let that be the impression he makes. So, once he swallows his last bite, he makes a possibly predictable clarification.]
I only did that because it's delicious, for the record.
[And it's not entirely a lie, but in the end it's a simple thing that he can do to make his lover happy, so of course he obliged him. Clive could tell him to cobble together a chef costume and prepare another batch of sandwiches and he would at least consider humouring him.
Joshua is a little more familiar with Clive and therefore a little more reluctant to accept his follow-up at face value. But with that familiarity comes an understanding of when to back off, so he holds up his hands in defeat. "All right, but only a little less," he says, then pauses, a little twinkle lighting up his eyes. Maybe it's not such a complete defeat. "You do know what they say about old habits."
All sandwiches eaten, Joshua sinks back against the couch, his focus soft and contemplative. "I am glad for you both," he adds after a moment. "May your love for each other help change the course of this world."
Another laugh from Verso, this one a little more tentative, a little more like a huff.]
No pressure, right?
[Wrong. Which he knows; of course he does. They all understand the weight that rests upon their shoulders. Might as well laugh about it while they're still able.]
[ And, truly, this really is everything Clive could ask for. If he were a painter, this is what he'd want his tableau to look like: Joshua with his sky-blue eyes reclining on a chair in a room full of books, and Verso leaning away from an empty tray once-full of homemade breakfast. It's a facsimile of something normal and uncomplicated, as nothing about any of them fit either of those descriptors, but it's quiet and gentle and unmarred by flame or steel.
Old souls in younger bodies, speaking of things that would normally remain unspoken. Affection claws up the back of Clive's throat, tightening it enough that his next breath whistles. ]
No pressure.
[ Convinced, despite the fickle hand of fate always tightening its vicelike grip around them. Of all the things he could be uncertain about, his love has never been one of them; is it enough to change the world? Maybe not, but he can hold to the hope that it is. He can try to believe that it will be enough, because it feels more than enough to him and his heart.
Clive rests against the plush cushions of their couch, and casts a glance Verso's way. ]
Now, am I permitted a question? Or is this a Joshua-and-Verso-exclusive exchange?
[ Not that he's clamoring to be included, but. For the sake of letting this moment linger, Clive volunteers himself (and, consequently, Verso). ]
[There it is again, that surety Clive carries in himself, that conviction that keeps pushing Verso to believe in the impossible, or at least the improbable. Which itself was practically an impossibility in its own right before they'd met, and so while Verso still has his worries about what the path ahead might take from Clive, they lessen a little more. It's okay. They're okay. Maybe just for now, maybe never again after, but that's all the more reason to let it matter when that sense of okayness is everywhere around them.
A sheepish glance in response to Clive's question – have he and Joshua been monopolising the conversation? He hopes not, but it's also been a long time since he's had this kind of conversation, and so he isn't entirely sure of the etiquette. What he does know is that there isn't a universe in which he turns Clive down and doesn't come across as absolute dingus-minded doofus – not that there's a universe in which he wants to turn him down, mind – and so he shifts a little to better face him, arm resting on the back of the couch.]
Of course. And you know what? I'll do you one better. You can have two.
[The man has a litany of famous-last-word moments. If this ends up counting among them, oh well.]
[ Oh, Verso. Again, with the ping-ponging of "why did I think he would say any different", a soft laugh to garnish the sentiment as Clive forgets himself for a moment and leans in, pressing his palm to that handsome face and thumbing just below that audacious mouth that claims he'd be fine with two entire questions. Verso's uncalculated risks are worrying, but the way it slants his pretty lips is always strangely alluring. ]
It's not a competition, mon étoile.
[ You know. Just in case Verso expects this to turn into a battle of questions that someone is meant to win. Joshua is far too polite to roll his eyes at this display, but he does, in fact, look interested in what kind of question his brother would ask someone who he's presumably been traveling with long enough to know the basics of.
And, well. With his hand still resting on warm skin, he travels his thumb from the corner of those full, very-kissable lips up to the corner of one halo-bright eye. The one bisected by that ink-swirl scar, which he traces along.
Question one, then. ]
How did you get this?
[ Not a happy memory, probably. So Clive adds, to cushion the blow: ]
It's fetching on you.
[ Really adds to the 'dark and tortured man of mystery' vibe. Clive is biased, though. ]
[The song Clive plays upon Verso's skin is beautiful, captivating; Verso can feel its vibrations course through him, can feel himself slipping away into that wonderful space between reality and fantasy, where he retreats to with his music, where he can find the strength to express himself.
But even as Clive's touches reveal the direction things are headed, his words are still discordant. A yanking of Verso from one space to another, yet he exists concurrently in them both. In love enough to want to be taken elsewhere; in love enough to be all right with being guided through things that hurt.]
That's... courtesy of my father.
[Verso cants his head to the side, shoulder rising to meet it in a halved shrug. There are some things he's still not comfortable saying, so he takes a moment to stitch together something a little more complete than we fought and it sucked.]
We used to be on the same side. Couldn't agree on anything, but all we had was Alicia and each other, so I... endured until I couldn't anymore. He tried to cut me down when I let him know I'd be leaving, and we fought.
[Desperately. Mercilessly. Verso can still call to mind with near-perfect accuracy the vitriol in his father's words, the heartlessness in his eyes, the way the air itself felt like a cage closing in on him. Aline controlled him through happiness and delusion; Renoir would have seen him locked up and miserable if would mean that he'd be safe. Relatable in present company, he knows, but he can't bring himself to go into that much depth.]
I lost my family that day, so I keep it as a reminder of what I had to give up to get to where I am.
[ Definitely an unhappy memory. A few feet away, Clive can practically feel Joshua tensing in his chair, shocked by the claim of such unthinkable violence committed by a father against his son; Clive can also feel how Joshua slumps a moment thereafter, recalling the origin of Clive's scar on his face and knowing that it's so often the case that the most unspeakable displays of cruelty happen between blood relations.
(Paint relations? Doesn't matter. Whatever they bleed, it still hurts.)
As if to smooth over the fissure that Renoir has permanently left, Clive touches along Verso's face again, just along the seam of the fracture (ha). A running theme with the Dessendres, apparently. ]
...A mark of your agency, no matter how hard-earned it was. No wonder it looks beautiful on you.
[ It's very... Verso. To commemorate his losses on his skin, to wear the proof of his own pain. Clive's gaze flits down to the other man's wrist, where claws had dug in and left crescent-shaped marks; it's hidden under a sleeve right now, but he thinks he recalls them having still been present the night prior.
In the breath of silence that follows Clive's appraisal, Joshua softly interjects:
"Clive told me that the night he realized that Ifrit was a part of him, your father had been present. Has he been pursuing you all this time? To what end? Surely he can't expect you to have changed your mind."
Second question? Or does this one not count, since it's coming from Joshua? It doesn't matter either way, really― Clive finally draws his hand back, but only to replace it with a brief flutter of his lips under Verso's eye. ]
[At least with how Verso is curled on the sofa, he can't pick up on the full extent of Joshua's reaction. Just a glimpse of a shifting. A mixed blessing. Distracted as he is by that swell of... something – warmth, stubbornness, pride, the unique joy of being seen – when Clive reasserts the beauty of his scars, touch and words back to being harmonic, it only makes the way Joshua holds himself more apparent when he asks his own question and Verso turns back away from Clive to receive it.]
He sees every Gommage as a new opportunity to try and convince me.
[By which me means that he tries to leverage his failures against him. It's futile. There's nothing to be done besides give into the fantasy of family. Alicia deserves better. Et cetera.]
And every fight as a chance to restrain me.
[A sigh. Verso looks up at the roof as if the answers are written on its surface, shaking his head lightly as he does. It only lasts a moment, but when he continues, there's fresh vitriol behind his words, born of a bitterness held longer in Verso's heart than the love he'd once held for his father.]
Nothing matters more to him than having his family back. He'd burn the world down if that's what it took. He'd burn me down, too, in order to ... To keep me safe.
[Like Aline. Like the other Renoir. Like Clea. Like Verso himself. Each in their own self-destructive ways, each at the cost of everyone else as well. Verso chews on the inside of his lower lip, contemplating whether to leave things there. Technically, it answers the question of to what end, but it leaves so much more open, and Verso had promised to try and be more honest, so...]
Because in his ideal future, the Paintress stays here until it kills her, and we all die together.
[ Another contemplative fidget on Joshua's end: a crossing and uncrossing of his legs, as he stews in Verso's response. It's semi-familiar to him, and it's Clive that gives that feeling voice this time around: ]
Surviving only to die. ...Our mother was somewhat the same.
[ She would have put Joshua in a gilded pen, had him find someone to bear an heir, and waited for the cycle of death to come again to claim her. All Anabella had cared about was preserving a bloodline― Clive had heard her crooning, once upon a time, to an infant Joshua, that their family was the only one in Lumière to have a surname, because all the other children were descendants of orphans or had otherwise forgotten them after the Fracture. Rosfield, she had said, though Clive has never claimed it for his own.
But at least Anabella had never threatened violence against Joshua, thank god. Had never raised a finger against him, unlike Renoir and his willingness to drag the battered, broken half-corpse of his son back to the mansion to... what, seat him in an armchair as decoration, like so many of the portraits that hang in this manor?
Clive shakes his head, and rests one hand lightly on the back of Verso's. ]
I've said it before― it's madness. A parent should never wish for their child's death.
[ "Nor deprive them of their will to live. In that way, it seems your father is a slave to your mother's machinations."
A harsh assessment? Maybe. But it comes from a place of knowing― Joshua, too, could have been the same. It breaks Clive's heart. ]
[Verso looks down at where Clive's hand rests atop his own, hesitating for a moment before shifting his fingers to lace them together with Clive's. Legacy and stagnancy have long felt like the same concept differently packaged, and everything he's heard about Anabella have only driven that home for him. Change is a loss of control. The failure to meet expectations is an insult against one's heritage. A parent always knows better than their child.
There is a difference between Anabella and Renoir, though, one that Joshua touches on but can't complete. Anabella didn't act on love; for Renoir, that's his only driving factor. So:]
He's afraid, and he's drunk on love and his own illusions, and following her lead is the only thing that still makes sense in his world.
[Which sounds ridiculous, even to Verso. Of everyone, she's changed the most. Strong, proud Aline, fearless and perseverant, once gazing down at the world from among the loftiest positions, now lost to her grief and her desperate grip on the nightmarish fairytales she writes with the real Renoir. Not for the first time, he wonders who and what his father truly loves.
That doesn't need to be part of what he shares, so another pause, another mental tangent travelled down, before he continues.]
There's no freeing him from that. Believe me, I've tried. He just... He'll never stop being that slave.
[And thus, he'll never stop pursuing Verso. Never stop trying to isolate him. Never stop trying to convince him that the only path ahead is the one that marches them all the way back to a past that was never real.]
[ Verso uses that word too, slave, and it makes Clive's stomach turn again. All of them, marching blindly along railings set by a woman deranged by grief― surely there's more to life than this, more to glean from being alive than the constant reminder of irreplaceable loss.
But that's also rich, coming from him. Clive, who spent the greater part of his first few weeks with Verso on autopilot after his brother's presumed death; Clive, who'd molded himself around the same feeling of devastation that Aline is still feeling now, and prayed only for death to come after revenge. Who is he to speak about taking loss poorly?
Regardless, something biting and sharp glints in the blues of his eyes; a promise and a resolve, far more aggressive than he usually allows himself to be around Verso. ]
I would never let him take you.
[ His grip around Verso tightens. Never sounds almost like a growl, like the furnace-fire rumble of the hellbeast living in his chest. ]
Your father mistakes servility for love. And if your mother demands genuflection in place of sincerity, then we have to correct it.
[ To that... well. Joshua tips his head, and clears his throat. Clive glances towards him, eyes still glittering with knifelike focus, and huffs when his brother offers a soft: "listen to your own advice on occasion, brother." ]
[Oh, he doesn't like that aggressiveness. Not because of it reveals some new and unwelcome side of Clive – it doesn't – but rather because of what it says about how well he's taken Verso's request to heart. Which is to say not at all. It's a resounding no, an insistent we. Where Clive's grip on his hand tightens, Verso releases his, pulling his hand away and shifting a little bit back on the couch, distancing himself from this burst of drive.]
Yeah, so that's the opposite of leaving him to me.
[There is some humour to his tone, but mostly it's obfuscated by something tentative, something frustrated. Let me save you, too, he thinks to himself, not seeing the point in reasserting something he'd so recently said. Listen to you brother also goes unsaid, as does, "Ignore heart for once and follow ours in this. None of those feel like the right thing to say, though, so instead he moves to clarify.]
We run into him and he gets the better of us? I guarantee it's not me who he takes.
[How better to lure his son in? How better to chip away at his morale? How better to keep him captive? Nothing – absolutely nothing – would bring about Verso's defeat more surely than losing the last bit of light he's managed to scrounge together in this forsaken world.
Ah, but the reverse might just be as true. So, he softens just a little without losing any of his resolve.]
Look, I know I'm asking a lot, but you have to understand this isn't your fight.
[That last bit carries a lilt of pleading. Not intentional. Just strongly felt.]
[ Creased brows furrow further. Clive likes neither the distance nor the suggestion that Renoir-related conflicts are ones he'll have to sit out, but the memory of Clea and the cage she'd put Verso in remains fresh on his mind: thinking back on the man he loves pleading for his life makes Clive want to tear himself apart. He never wants Verso to have to do that again.
And yet. And yet. ]
...Our encounter with the Paintress' daughter proved that I can't be so easily erased.
[ Which is still the opposite of leaving Renoir to Verso. Clive knows it, but his obstinacy makes him dig his heels in one more time, at least one more time―
―only for him to earn Joshua's ire. He hears it before he sees it in the deep-set frown of his brother's face, in the way he squares his shoulders as he stands up. "Founder, Clive, listen to yourself. It's as if you think we depend on your pain to survive."
Straight and to the point. The sudden interjection knocks Clive sideways, but he doesn't get a chance to make his rebuttal before Joshua is leveling him with another observation-turned-question, demanding reflection with the imperiousness of a young prince.
"Do you think Verso wants to see you whittle yourself thin for his sake? How meaningful do you suppose any victory would be if you were left broken in the aftermath?"
Food for thought. Clive makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat, and tightens his grip on the crest of his knee. ]
[It isn't only Clive for whom Joshua's words resonate; Verso watches him rise and speak like a practised orator, brimming with the authority Anabella ascribed to his lineage and with a stubborn strength that rivals Clive's in near-perfect contrast. This changes the course he would have taken otherwise – one down which he argued the semantics of erasure – and finds him leaning back in towards Clive, though he doesn't reach out for him quite yet.]
My mother, my father, my sisters, Verso's real family, the Lumierans, the Gommage, the Nevrons... the only constant in this world is sacrifice. What are you changing by feeding into that?
[A bit hypocritical given how firm he is in his belief that his own sacrifice would serve as a course correction, but, again, such is the consequence of feeling like he's at the centre of everything. Such is the result of spending decades knowing that he's not worth all that's happened.]
Listen to me, Clive. You're a threat to everything he's trying to accomplish. The greatest one he's faced since the Fracture by far. He'll be at his strongest fighting you. But me? His methods don't change the fact that he does love me. And that weakens him.
[Which doesn't feel particularly great to say. There's a certain arrogance to it, an element of manipulation that he doesn't like to admit to, even if it's also one he's wielded more than a few times over the decades. One that his father has sharpened into one of the sharpest weapons in his arsenal. It's true, though, and Verso knows it well enough to speak it with infallible confidence.]
So, I'm telling you, if you want to keep me safe from him, then you're going to have to keep yourself safe first.
[ Predictably, Clive thinks to fire back with a "then you shouldn't have to sacrifice yourself, either". But he knows why Verso would consider himself the best man for the task of being a bulwark against the Dessendres, and the claim that Renoir will pull his punches against him is...
...probably true. Though not to any extent that would make Clive comfortable letting the violence happen. Verso had said so himself, that his father would burn him to keep him 'safe'― he tries to imagine himself sitting idly by while anything like that happens, and Clive simply can't, much as he doesn't enjoy making Verso plead his case or seeing Joshua's face twist with indignation.
So, a concession of sorts. (Or, well, a disclaimer. Close enough.) ]
You saw what happened last time we encountered your father. [ Anger and fear and other emotions so strong that they made the creature he'd been denying crawl out of its hiding space. ] ...I can't guarantee that I won't do anything if I see you hurt.
[ Joshua heaves an aggravated sigh at that; Clive knows that it's not the answer that either man wants from him. But just as Verso couldn't promise that he'd learn to love again if something happened to Clive, Clive can't promise that he'd hide and grit his teeth if the love of his life were in peril.
The most he can offer, with furrowed brows and a lowered gaze, is: ]
I'll do my utmost not to get in your way. But I can't promise that I won't.
[What happened to Clive last time is part of the reason why Verso would rather he keep his distance from Renoir. Not that he doesn't trust Clive, but rather because he doesn't want to see him pushed to those limits again. It's a silly notion at its core – there is nothing Verso can do to prevent anything from happening to anyone, anywhere, at any time when the Dessendres have such absolute control over everything – but fuck, he feels it with the whole of his being, such a radiant need that it may well resonate out from Verso and into the silvered chroma lacing Clive's heart.
In an uncomfortable way, he thinks he understands a little bit better where his father's coming from. A thought that twists his own expression, that looses a heavy sigh. Maybe Clive truly will be the end of him. Seeing him suffer and understanding his role in bring that suffering about feels like a worse fate than any other that might greet him on the other side of tomorrow. Except one: the both of them standing alone because they can't bear the consequences of acting together.
So, he runs his hands across his face, tightening all his excess tension into an expression neither brother can see, then almost wiping it away as he parts his hands and looks Clive head-on again, a light in his eye shining in place of the earlier pleas, but with a tiredness that steals away some of its glimmer.]
You're lucky I love you so much.
[If he didn't, he's not sure that he'd be able to resist the drive to pull away, sparing Clive from the curse of existing within his proximity and the consequences of perpetuating his too-long-lived life. He might have chosen the worst possible way to try and protect Clive. Instead, he taps Clive's hand where he grips onto his own knee, playing a silent, lilting song on the peaks of his knuckles.]
Not as lucky as I am that you love me, but... a decent second.
[ Oh, he can absolutely make this a competition if Verso wants to. Verso has had several decades to unlearn the idea of love, or at least consign it to a dark, inaccessible place with pretty masks to serve as a facsimile, and yet― here he is, tapping a gentle melody against his skin, offering his heart even when he knows it's liable to break at any point in time. It would be sacrilege to treat that heart poorly, to give it an excuse to hurt more than it already has over the years.
So. Here they are, at a stalemate. Neither of them willing to relent completely, but both of them understanding why they won't. Clive sighs, then shifts where he's sitting, sliding his hand under Verso's only to press it, along with the other hand, against the other man's face. A Verso sandwich. ]
You're worth fighting for. And you always will be.
[ That's Clive's truth, straightforward as ever. But Joshua, ever the one with more perspective, flumps back onto his chair and appraises the pair with no small amount of concern; Clive can feel it, though he has a feeling that the sentiment is directed more towards Verso than it is towards him.
"Be that as it may, Clive, if defeating Verso's father was as simple as besting him in swordplay, I can't help but think that he would have been felled ages ago. Our... uniqueness aside, pray listen to Verso about being cautious. There must be a reason why he insists."
Translation: sometimes you need a more solid strategy than whacking someone with a sword, dummy. Clive blinks, then slowly lowers his hand back onto his own knees. ]
[An idiot sandwich, but at least they're dumb, self-sacrificial sadmen together, relearning and discovering what the hell that kind of love is supposed to mean. So even as Verso feels Joshua's concern, too, he doesn't try to figure out how best to apply it to their circumstances. What else is there for him to do besides love Clive as he comes and face the world as it does? They could talk more, he supposes, digging down into their deepest insecurities, but that poses its own question of what they could feasibly accomplish. Nothing will change who they are at their cores. Not the memory of a dead man, not the housing of a vicious beast, not the machinations of people who act as if they're gods for the fact that they have blood in their veins instead of ink.
Of course, he could also address why Renoir still stands despite all the the destruction he's wrought against the Expeditions: the pure and simple fact that Verso has yet to find the heart to try to incapacitate him, knowing what he does of his motives, understanding what he does of where the fallen's chroma ends up when they're felled by Renoir rather than the Nevrons. Not wanting Alicia to be alone in the world, either, only the apparition of her mother by her side, a mother who's still barely able to look at her even without a face to make that apparent.
But he doesn't. It's something he'll need to share with Clive eventually, he just can't expose that part of himself now. Besides, Joshua isn't wrong. Renoir is profoundly powerful, and that feels more important to focus on. So:]
The Paintress gave him incredible powers. Even I don't know everything he's capable of doing. And part of that is because in theory, she has the ability him more. I mean, I can't say either way, but even if Clea painted you, the Paintress will know your chroma. It's possible that she's already found a way to counter it through him.
[And how do you counter the unknowable? By fucking parrying it on your first try? Please.]
Not to mention that this... gift of immortality is her doing. There's not a chance that she's incapable of reversing it, if that's what she wants.
[A small if, he thinks. The Aline of this world has always been more supportive of him than the one from Paris had of the real Verso. Such is the consequence of loss. So, it's not outside of the realm of possibility that she would try to preserve her son's happiness. Anything to keep him in this world. Anything to validate her choices.]
[ Ah. Well, that's just cheating, isn't it? Being able to layer abilities on top of abilities to counter anything that might come their way― but maybe that's the way of gods. So sure of their superiority that they'd do anything to maintain it, without knowing what they're even maintaining all of it for.
Clive's shoulders droop somewhat, but the edge of obstinacy doesn't leave the set of his jaw. A hound being told to heel, but remaining ready to spring forward at a moment's notice. ]
Point taken. [ He's but a man (with a monster in him) (a monster painted to look like a man?), and he doesn't have the shield of family to protect him from instant annihilation. Fine, he can concede that― especially on the heels of having seen what Renoir has done to their father, which is...
...not something he's been able to tell Joshua about, yet. He'll have to, perhaps to give his brother a little more context for his vehemence, but not while Verso is around. No part of him wants Verso to have to say I'm sorry again.
Instead― since he can tell that he's been defeated in this particular battle of words― he lifts his hands, palms up. ] ...Stubborn, the lot of us. But I suppose we'd have to be, to be doing what we're doing.
[ Fighting against the very shape of the world. Defying not just Fate, but the fabric of their existence. A foolish, reckless, crazy mission, as only living things with free will can set for themselves. At the very least, Clive can be proud of that. ]
And now I know not to try to debate anything when you two are both in one room.
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flamebrand) wrote2024-09-08 02:07 pm
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That should tell Verso all he needs to know: no, Clive hasn't mentioned it. Hadn't known how to, honestly. There'd never been an organic way to weave the subject of possible immortality (possible, only because he hasn't tried getting sliced in half by a Nevron to test whether his durability works on non-Dessendre-related interference) into the conversation, but this seems as good a time as any―
―or, well. They have to talk about it now, with Joshua frowning and leaning forward in his chair. "About what?"
Clive knows that look on his brother's face. The one that says I will be so upset if you keep this from me; it's the look that makes Clive buckle every time (not that it's hard― for the millionth time, he's a shitty liar, and especially so when it comes to Joshua). ]
You know how I can sometimes take others' chroma.
[ A weak start. Yes, Joshua is already aware, because he's seen Clive wield both Benedikta and Cid's elemental abilities. But now this roundabout explanation seems to rouse some suspicion, as pale blue eyes pass from Clive to Verso, trying to connect the disparate dots of Clive's semi-explanation. The silence that follows is a clear go on. ]
Well, it turns out that Verso's chroma is... compatible with me. I can't wield it, exactly, but... it's part of me now.
[ Joshua raises a brow. Surely his brother isn't saying all this just to gush about his lover, but... who knows....????? ]
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So, a soft sigh – understanding aside, he is still a Dessendre and Dessendres are hypocrites – and a shrug of one shoulder, head canting in the opposite direction, an air of unbothered casualness about him that squirrels away the deeper truths of how much Clive's presumed immortality still makes him feel like a goddamned curse.]
He inherited the Paintress' gift. Immortality, that is. I don't know what that means for the Nevrons or the other dangers out there, but Clea – their oldest daughter – she's almost as powerful as the Paintress herself, and she couldn't erase your brother.
[Another silence. Joshua's eyes narrow and his lips settle into a deeper frown before his lips purse, as if he's holding himself back from blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. After a moment: "May we never learn the full extent of what it means." There's something conflicted to his tone, though, like he isn't sure how he's supposed to take the news. He taps his fingers on his thigh. Shakes his head. Asks, "How do you feel about it?"
Verso looks over at Clive, a softness in his gaze, a tension in his shoulders.]
Answer like I'm not here.
[Translation: he wants to know, too.]
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His hand grips the crest of his knee, fingers curled inwards into the fabric of his standard-issue Expedition trousers. His brows knit in concentration, tension visible in that furrow. ]
Truth be told, it's difficult to know. I don't feel－ [ The hand lifts from his lap, and gestures vaguely. ] －different.
[ The same as he ever was, except for that shimmer of warm light in his heart whenever he reaches for it. Guiding, grounding. His palm settles over his chest, now. ]
But if this new longevity affords me the time and the fortitude to keep fighting... then I do see it as a gift. A way to ensure that I see things through to the end.
[ Until the world burns out, or he does. He'll whittle himself down to bone if need be; otherwise, what's the point in something like him continuing to live? ]
I said so before. Verso has been fighting all this time for us, and now it's my turn.
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He'd seen it as a gift once, too, a sign that he could make things right. And while it would be dishonest to say that this new life, this wondrous love he's building with Clive, hasn't shifted him a little bit back in that direction, he still can't help but worry. The comedown from feeling like immortality is a gift is... it's brutal, and it's painful, and it's something Verso still struggles to recover from, all these decades later. But he is not Clive and Clive is not him, and Verso knows – he fucking knows – that if he fears the worst in these kinds of things, he'll never regain sight of the better.
Or something. Maybe Verso's just so lovestruck that he wants to believe that Clive's strong enough to never shatter in the same ways – or, perhaps, that he himself has untapped stores of strength that he can use to hold him together should the worst come to past. Maybe he's tired in ways different from the ones he's already claimed. Maybe he has no idea what he's doing.
None of them do, and there's something almost freeing about that, too. So, a sigh when Clive puts his foot down yet again about taking his turn. Then, to Joshua:]
He's going to be the end of us both, isn't he?
[Joshua laughs lightly, though there's still enough concern in his gaze to be noticeable. "I was thinking the same," he says, then adds, "But it's a noble goal indeed. To fight until you both can pass the torch to the next brave heroes of Lumiere. Though I must admit, as much as I want tomorrow to come for them... selfishly, I want it most for you, Clive."]
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Nevertheless, Clive remembers onward in Elwin's steady baritone. Better to move than to stand, grief-locked, in place. If he buckles, he really will be good for nothing.
He doesn't say that, of course. Instead, he receives Joshua's opinion with that same-old moment of vague incomprehension, not quite understanding what his brother could mean, because: ]
It already has. [ (See, when your entire life is about subtraction, any bit of addition starts to mean the world to you.) ] I have everything I could ever need in this room.
You two are the future.
[ Verso, Joshua. The both of them far more than Clive deserves. What else could he ask for? What more could he possibly want?
(The truth of the matter, Clive thinks, is that he's better-equipped to fight this fight than Verso is. Verso, whose sensitive heart is always at odds with the grim mission tasked to him by people who both are and aren't his family; Verso, who's forced to tear himself apart as he watches the world around them crumble.
Verso was never built to be hurt. Clive was. Verso had aspirations and dreams and talents. Clive didn't. It would be a far greater loss to the world, to lose someone like Verso.) ]
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But he can't, so instead he tries not to dwell on the notion of being described as the future. These proclamations mean something to Clive, he knows, drawn from depths deeper inside of him than Verso and Joshua could reach even if they together stretched themselves to their thinnest. There's nothing to gain from objecting to them outright.
He can still object a little, though.]
And you're mine, so. Stop acting like you don't need saving, too.
[And put yourself first sometimes while you're at it, he stops himself from adding. There are still no scales to balance. No pasts to compensate for by stepping in the way of each other's attempts at redemption and salvation. No overvaluing one life to undervalue another. Each a hypocritical notion, he suspects, but they both suffer from the same inclinations and he can't fathom being the first to back down, ever driven by that competitive spirit, by that innate arrogance of being at the epicentre of so much devastation.
"I don't mean to gang up on you, brother, but I'm of the same mind," Joshua chimes in, his tone caring the chiding lilt of a little sibling fully grown. "You've already done so much for me; ought I never to know the joy of doing the same for you?"]
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If you want to do things for me－ [ With the practiced but not insincere air of an older brother chiding his younger siblings: ] －You can finish your breakfast.
[ Sliding the mostly-eaten sandwich back Verso's way (ignoring the fact that Verso has several decades on him in terms of life experience), as he turns towards Joshua next. ] And you can spend less time worrying about your wayward brother and enjoy your time with the other residents of the Continent. Lumière was always too small for your inquisitive mind.
[ And, with perhaps the naïveté of a man who has yet to experience the truth of what it means to be immortal, he shakes his head and eases into a vague half-smile. ]
Gift or no, I'm still the same as I ever was. Like Ifrit, this is another part of me to accept and press on with.
...Though, unlike Ifrit, having Verso's chroma is something I would always have chosen.
[ Maybe the hellhound rumbles a little unhappily at that, but Clive doesn't feel it. And if this feels like a diversionary tactic, maybe it is－ he isn't above those things, clumsy as he is with them－ but mostly, he can't bear the thought of people being too concerned about his wellbeing when he thinks he hasn't done anything to merit it. Pot, kettle. ]
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[Said with a light laugh. Verso, too, isn't sure what else he expected, and with less of an idea of how to make a rebuttal, he takes his sandwich and eats it as told. Except far be it from him to let that be the impression he makes. So, once he swallows his last bite, he makes a possibly predictable clarification.]
I only did that because it's delicious, for the record.
[And it's not entirely a lie, but in the end it's a simple thing that he can do to make his lover happy, so of course he obliged him. Clive could tell him to cobble together a chef costume and prepare another batch of sandwiches and he would at least consider humouring him.
Joshua is a little more familiar with Clive and therefore a little more reluctant to accept his follow-up at face value. But with that familiarity comes an understanding of when to back off, so he holds up his hands in defeat. "All right, but only a little less," he says, then pauses, a little twinkle lighting up his eyes. Maybe it's not such a complete defeat. "You do know what they say about old habits."
All sandwiches eaten, Joshua sinks back against the couch, his focus soft and contemplative. "I am glad for you both," he adds after a moment. "May your love for each other help change the course of this world."
Another laugh from Verso, this one a little more tentative, a little more like a huff.]
No pressure, right?
[Wrong. Which he knows; of course he does. They all understand the weight that rests upon their shoulders. Might as well laugh about it while they're still able.]
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Old souls in younger bodies, speaking of things that would normally remain unspoken. Affection claws up the back of Clive's throat, tightening it enough that his next breath whistles. ]
No pressure.
[ Convinced, despite the fickle hand of fate always tightening its vicelike grip around them. Of all the things he could be uncertain about, his love has never been one of them; is it enough to change the world? Maybe not, but he can hold to the hope that it is. He can try to believe that it will be enough, because it feels more than enough to him and his heart.
Clive rests against the plush cushions of their couch, and casts a glance Verso's way. ]
Now, am I permitted a question? Or is this a Joshua-and-Verso-exclusive exchange?
[ Not that he's clamoring to be included, but. For the sake of letting this moment linger, Clive volunteers himself (and, consequently, Verso). ]
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A sheepish glance in response to Clive's question – have he and Joshua been monopolising the conversation? He hopes not, but it's also been a long time since he's had this kind of conversation, and so he isn't entirely sure of the etiquette. What he does know is that there isn't a universe in which he turns Clive down and doesn't come across as absolute dingus-minded doofus – not that there's a universe in which he wants to turn him down, mind – and so he shifts a little to better face him, arm resting on the back of the couch.]
Of course. And you know what? I'll do you one better. You can have two.
[The man has a litany of famous-last-word moments. If this ends up counting among them, oh well.]
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It's not a competition, mon étoile.
[ You know. Just in case Verso expects this to turn into a battle of questions that someone is meant to win. Joshua is far too polite to roll his eyes at this display, but he does, in fact, look interested in what kind of question his brother would ask someone who he's presumably been traveling with long enough to know the basics of.
And, well. With his hand still resting on warm skin, he travels his thumb from the corner of those full, very-kissable lips up to the corner of one halo-bright eye. The one bisected by that ink-swirl scar, which he traces along.
Question one, then. ]
How did you get this?
[ Not a happy memory, probably. So Clive adds, to cushion the blow: ]
It's fetching on you.
[ Really adds to the 'dark and tortured man of mystery' vibe. Clive is biased, though. ]
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But even as Clive's touches reveal the direction things are headed, his words are still discordant. A yanking of Verso from one space to another, yet he exists concurrently in them both. In love enough to want to be taken elsewhere; in love enough to be all right with being guided through things that hurt.]
That's... courtesy of my father.
[Verso cants his head to the side, shoulder rising to meet it in a halved shrug. There are some things he's still not comfortable saying, so he takes a moment to stitch together something a little more complete than we fought and it sucked.]
We used to be on the same side. Couldn't agree on anything, but all we had was Alicia and each other, so I... endured until I couldn't anymore. He tried to cut me down when I let him know I'd be leaving, and we fought.
[Desperately. Mercilessly. Verso can still call to mind with near-perfect accuracy the vitriol in his father's words, the heartlessness in his eyes, the way the air itself felt like a cage closing in on him. Aline controlled him through happiness and delusion; Renoir would have seen him locked up and miserable if would mean that he'd be safe. Relatable in present company, he knows, but he can't bring himself to go into that much depth.]
I lost my family that day, so I keep it as a reminder of what I had to give up to get to where I am.
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(Paint relations? Doesn't matter. Whatever they bleed, it still hurts.)
As if to smooth over the fissure that Renoir has permanently left, Clive touches along Verso's face again, just along the seam of the fracture (ha). A running theme with the Dessendres, apparently. ]
...A mark of your agency, no matter how hard-earned it was. No wonder it looks beautiful on you.
[ It's very... Verso. To commemorate his losses on his skin, to wear the proof of his own pain. Clive's gaze flits down to the other man's wrist, where claws had dug in and left crescent-shaped marks; it's hidden under a sleeve right now, but he thinks he recalls them having still been present the night prior.
In the breath of silence that follows Clive's appraisal, Joshua softly interjects:
"Clive told me that the night he realized that Ifrit was a part of him, your father had been present. Has he been pursuing you all this time? To what end? Surely he can't expect you to have changed your mind."
Second question? Or does this one not count, since it's coming from Joshua? It doesn't matter either way, really― Clive finally draws his hand back, but only to replace it with a brief flutter of his lips under Verso's eye. ]
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He sees every Gommage as a new opportunity to try and convince me.
[By which me means that he tries to leverage his failures against him. It's futile. There's nothing to be done besides give into the fantasy of family. Alicia deserves better. Et cetera.]
And every fight as a chance to restrain me.
[A sigh. Verso looks up at the roof as if the answers are written on its surface, shaking his head lightly as he does. It only lasts a moment, but when he continues, there's fresh vitriol behind his words, born of a bitterness held longer in Verso's heart than the love he'd once held for his father.]
Nothing matters more to him than having his family back. He'd burn the world down if that's what it took. He'd burn me down, too, in order to ... To keep me safe.
[Like Aline. Like the other Renoir. Like Clea. Like Verso himself. Each in their own self-destructive ways, each at the cost of everyone else as well. Verso chews on the inside of his lower lip, contemplating whether to leave things there. Technically, it answers the question of to what end, but it leaves so much more open, and Verso had promised to try and be more honest, so...]
Because in his ideal future, the Paintress stays here until it kills her, and we all die together.
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Surviving only to die. ...Our mother was somewhat the same.
[ She would have put Joshua in a gilded pen, had him find someone to bear an heir, and waited for the cycle of death to come again to claim her. All Anabella had cared about was preserving a bloodline― Clive had heard her crooning, once upon a time, to an infant Joshua, that their family was the only one in Lumière to have a surname, because all the other children were descendants of orphans or had otherwise forgotten them after the Fracture. Rosfield, she had said, though Clive has never claimed it for his own.
But at least Anabella had never threatened violence against Joshua, thank god. Had never raised a finger against him, unlike Renoir and his willingness to drag the battered, broken half-corpse of his son back to the mansion to... what, seat him in an armchair as decoration, like so many of the portraits that hang in this manor?
Clive shakes his head, and rests one hand lightly on the back of Verso's. ]
I've said it before― it's madness. A parent should never wish for their child's death.
[ "Nor deprive them of their will to live. In that way, it seems your father is a slave to your mother's machinations."
A harsh assessment? Maybe. But it comes from a place of knowing― Joshua, too, could have been the same. It breaks Clive's heart. ]
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There is a difference between Anabella and Renoir, though, one that Joshua touches on but can't complete. Anabella didn't act on love; for Renoir, that's his only driving factor. So:]
He's afraid, and he's drunk on love and his own illusions, and following her lead is the only thing that still makes sense in his world.
[Which sounds ridiculous, even to Verso. Of everyone, she's changed the most. Strong, proud Aline, fearless and perseverant, once gazing down at the world from among the loftiest positions, now lost to her grief and her desperate grip on the nightmarish fairytales she writes with the real Renoir. Not for the first time, he wonders who and what his father truly loves.
That doesn't need to be part of what he shares, so another pause, another mental tangent travelled down, before he continues.]
There's no freeing him from that. Believe me, I've tried. He just... He'll never stop being that slave.
[And thus, he'll never stop pursuing Verso. Never stop trying to isolate him. Never stop trying to convince him that the only path ahead is the one that marches them all the way back to a past that was never real.]
So, don't go getting any ideas. Leave him to me.
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But that's also rich, coming from him. Clive, who spent the greater part of his first few weeks with Verso on autopilot after his brother's presumed death; Clive, who'd molded himself around the same feeling of devastation that Aline is still feeling now, and prayed only for death to come after revenge. Who is he to speak about taking loss poorly?
Regardless, something biting and sharp glints in the blues of his eyes; a promise and a resolve, far more aggressive than he usually allows himself to be around Verso. ]
I would never let him take you.
[ His grip around Verso tightens. Never sounds almost like a growl, like the furnace-fire rumble of the hellbeast living in his chest. ]
Your father mistakes servility for love. And if your mother demands genuflection in place of sincerity, then we have to correct it.
[ To that... well. Joshua tips his head, and clears his throat. Clive glances towards him, eyes still glittering with knifelike focus, and huffs when his brother offers a soft: "listen to your own advice on occasion, brother." ]
―I wouldn't. [ "Be another Renoir", he means. ]
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Yeah, so that's the opposite of leaving him to me.
[There is some humour to his tone, but mostly it's obfuscated by something tentative, something frustrated. Let me save you, too, he thinks to himself, not seeing the point in reasserting something he'd so recently said. Listen to you brother also goes unsaid, as does, "Ignore heart for once and follow ours in this. None of those feel like the right thing to say, though, so instead he moves to clarify.]
We run into him and he gets the better of us? I guarantee it's not me who he takes.
[How better to lure his son in? How better to chip away at his morale? How better to keep him captive? Nothing – absolutely nothing – would bring about Verso's defeat more surely than losing the last bit of light he's managed to scrounge together in this forsaken world.
Ah, but the reverse might just be as true. So, he softens just a little without losing any of his resolve.]
Look, I know I'm asking a lot, but you have to understand this isn't your fight.
[That last bit carries a lilt of pleading. Not intentional. Just strongly felt.]
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And yet. And yet. ]
...Our encounter with the Paintress' daughter proved that I can't be so easily erased.
[ Which is still the opposite of leaving Renoir to Verso. Clive knows it, but his obstinacy makes him dig his heels in one more time, at least one more time―
―only for him to earn Joshua's ire. He hears it before he sees it in the deep-set frown of his brother's face, in the way he squares his shoulders as he stands up. "Founder, Clive, listen to yourself. It's as if you think we depend on your pain to survive."
Straight and to the point. The sudden interjection knocks Clive sideways, but he doesn't get a chance to make his rebuttal before Joshua is leveling him with another observation-turned-question, demanding reflection with the imperiousness of a young prince.
"Do you think Verso wants to see you whittle yourself thin for his sake? How meaningful do you suppose any victory would be if you were left broken in the aftermath?"
Food for thought. Clive makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat, and tightens his grip on the crest of his knee. ]
I...
[ He doesn't have an answer. ]
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My mother, my father, my sisters, Verso's real family, the Lumierans, the Gommage, the Nevrons... the only constant in this world is sacrifice. What are you changing by feeding into that?
[A bit hypocritical given how firm he is in his belief that his own sacrifice would serve as a course correction, but, again, such is the consequence of feeling like he's at the centre of everything. Such is the result of spending decades knowing that he's not worth all that's happened.]
Listen to me, Clive. You're a threat to everything he's trying to accomplish. The greatest one he's faced since the Fracture by far. He'll be at his strongest fighting you. But me? His methods don't change the fact that he does love me. And that weakens him.
[Which doesn't feel particularly great to say. There's a certain arrogance to it, an element of manipulation that he doesn't like to admit to, even if it's also one he's wielded more than a few times over the decades. One that his father has sharpened into one of the sharpest weapons in his arsenal. It's true, though, and Verso knows it well enough to speak it with infallible confidence.]
So, I'm telling you, if you want to keep me safe from him, then you're going to have to keep yourself safe first.
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...probably true. Though not to any extent that would make Clive comfortable letting the violence happen. Verso had said so himself, that his father would burn him to keep him 'safe'― he tries to imagine himself sitting idly by while anything like that happens, and Clive simply can't, much as he doesn't enjoy making Verso plead his case or seeing Joshua's face twist with indignation.
So, a concession of sorts. (Or, well, a disclaimer. Close enough.) ]
You saw what happened last time we encountered your father. [ Anger and fear and other emotions so strong that they made the creature he'd been denying crawl out of its hiding space. ] ...I can't guarantee that I won't do anything if I see you hurt.
[ Joshua heaves an aggravated sigh at that; Clive knows that it's not the answer that either man wants from him. But just as Verso couldn't promise that he'd learn to love again if something happened to Clive, Clive can't promise that he'd hide and grit his teeth if the love of his life were in peril.
The most he can offer, with furrowed brows and a lowered gaze, is: ]
I'll do my utmost not to get in your way. But I can't promise that I won't.
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In an uncomfortable way, he thinks he understands a little bit better where his father's coming from. A thought that twists his own expression, that looses a heavy sigh. Maybe Clive truly will be the end of him. Seeing him suffer and understanding his role in bring that suffering about feels like a worse fate than any other that might greet him on the other side of tomorrow. Except one: the both of them standing alone because they can't bear the consequences of acting together.
So, he runs his hands across his face, tightening all his excess tension into an expression neither brother can see, then almost wiping it away as he parts his hands and looks Clive head-on again, a light in his eye shining in place of the earlier pleas, but with a tiredness that steals away some of its glimmer.]
You're lucky I love you so much.
[If he didn't, he's not sure that he'd be able to resist the drive to pull away, sparing Clive from the curse of existing within his proximity and the consequences of perpetuating his too-long-lived life. He might have chosen the worst possible way to try and protect Clive. Instead, he taps Clive's hand where he grips onto his own knee, playing a silent, lilting song on the peaks of his knuckles.]
Not as lucky as I am that you love me, but... a decent second.
[This isn't a competition, either, Verso!!!]
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[ Oh, he can absolutely make this a competition if Verso wants to. Verso has had several decades to unlearn the idea of love, or at least consign it to a dark, inaccessible place with pretty masks to serve as a facsimile, and yet― here he is, tapping a gentle melody against his skin, offering his heart even when he knows it's liable to break at any point in time. It would be sacrilege to treat that heart poorly, to give it an excuse to hurt more than it already has over the years.
So. Here they are, at a stalemate. Neither of them willing to relent completely, but both of them understanding why they won't. Clive sighs, then shifts where he's sitting, sliding his hand under Verso's only to press it, along with the other hand, against the other man's face. A Verso sandwich. ]
You're worth fighting for. And you always will be.
[ That's Clive's truth, straightforward as ever. But Joshua, ever the one with more perspective, flumps back onto his chair and appraises the pair with no small amount of concern; Clive can feel it, though he has a feeling that the sentiment is directed more towards Verso than it is towards him.
"Be that as it may, Clive, if defeating Verso's father was as simple as besting him in swordplay, I can't help but think that he would have been felled ages ago. Our... uniqueness aside, pray listen to Verso about being cautious. There must be a reason why he insists."
Translation: sometimes you need a more solid strategy than whacking someone with a sword, dummy. Clive blinks, then slowly lowers his hand back onto his own knees. ]
...Fair enough.
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Of course, he could also address why Renoir still stands despite all the the destruction he's wrought against the Expeditions: the pure and simple fact that Verso has yet to find the heart to try to incapacitate him, knowing what he does of his motives, understanding what he does of where the fallen's chroma ends up when they're felled by Renoir rather than the Nevrons. Not wanting Alicia to be alone in the world, either, only the apparition of her mother by her side, a mother who's still barely able to look at her even without a face to make that apparent.
But he doesn't. It's something he'll need to share with Clive eventually, he just can't expose that part of himself now. Besides, Joshua isn't wrong. Renoir is profoundly powerful, and that feels more important to focus on. So:]
The Paintress gave him incredible powers. Even I don't know everything he's capable of doing. And part of that is because in theory, she has the ability him more. I mean, I can't say either way, but even if Clea painted you, the Paintress will know your chroma. It's possible that she's already found a way to counter it through him.
[And how do you counter the unknowable? By fucking parrying it on your first try? Please.]
Not to mention that this... gift of immortality is her doing. There's not a chance that she's incapable of reversing it, if that's what she wants.
[A small if, he thinks. The Aline of this world has always been more supportive of him than the one from Paris had of the real Verso. Such is the consequence of loss. So, it's not outside of the realm of possibility that she would try to preserve her son's happiness. Anything to keep him in this world. Anything to validate her choices.]
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Clive's shoulders droop somewhat, but the edge of obstinacy doesn't leave the set of his jaw. A hound being told to heel, but remaining ready to spring forward at a moment's notice. ]
Point taken. [ He's but a man (with a monster in him) (a monster painted to look like a man?), and he doesn't have the shield of family to protect him from instant annihilation. Fine, he can concede that― especially on the heels of having seen what Renoir has done to their father, which is...
...not something he's been able to tell Joshua about, yet. He'll have to, perhaps to give his brother a little more context for his vehemence, but not while Verso is around. No part of him wants Verso to have to say I'm sorry again.
Instead― since he can tell that he's been defeated in this particular battle of words― he lifts his hands, palms up. ] ...Stubborn, the lot of us. But I suppose we'd have to be, to be doing what we're doing.
[ Fighting against the very shape of the world. Defying not just Fate, but the fabric of their existence. A foolish, reckless, crazy mission, as only living things with free will can set for themselves. At the very least, Clive can be proud of that. ]
And now I know not to try to debate anything when you two are both in one room.
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