[ I'M COOL WITH WRAPPING HERE IF YOU DESIRE... again no pressure to allow me to hold you hostage... but if a slide into action intrigues, Verso pops up next to the tree trunk that is Clive after a few minutes, glancing into his basket for what he's already foraged.
Gesturing to a few brown-capped mushrooms: ]
—Oh, no. You, uh, don't want to cook with these.
[ But he is pocketing them for himself. Don't worry about it. ]
[ i live in your inbox now........ Clive glances up when Verso sneakily insinuates himself into his space, and bows his head in greeting－
－before his expression shifts, first to disappointment (he really thought he had this!!!), then to surprise (hello????). ]
Ah. [ Gesturing for Verso to, like, hand the deathshrooms over. ] ―We should toss those over the cliff, then. [ Verso please he is so worried about you ]
[ First of all, he's a grown man, and if he wants to recreationally poison himself, he has that right. Maybe he just wants to feel something!!! Second of all: ] It's not that sort of mushroom.
[ A deathshroom, he means. Not these ones, anyway. There's a very faint upwards curl to his lips, perhaps a bit amused at Clive's misunderstanding. (Admittedly, the interpretation isn't entirely unfounded.) ]
These ones will make you smell colors.
[ So unless Clive wants the whole camp to start tripping balls, it's probably wise not to put them in his stew. ]
[ Eating them is the whole point, but maybe he doesn't need to explain to sweet, innocent Clive that, sometimes, when you're very old and have nothing to live for, you eat weird mushrooms to pass the time. ]
Right. [ Like it's a fun little secret: ] Best keep it between us.
[ Because he's not sharing. Verso crouches next to the thicket, then, pulling out his knife and gesturing to a fungus with the point of the blade. Light brown, with small speckles. Or is it medium-small? ]
[ "Best keep it between us" isn't "I promise I won't eat the mushrooms that will make me trip balls", but. You know what. Verso's been remarkably trustworthy (cue laugh track) thus far, so Clive will assume that the psychedelics are for something other than casual consumption.
"Death or dinner" is a somewhat more pressing concern, anyway. Clive kneels next to Verso, brows furrowed in concentration, observing the small (medium-small?) spots with knifelike intensity. ]
D... [ hnrgh ] ...eath. [ With more conviction, this time: ] Death.
[ Verso waits patiently for Clive to make his decision, expression expectant, and nods in encouragement when he finally does. Gold star for Clive! ] And not a pretty one, either.
[ The agony of death by mushroom is recalled with a tone mundane enough that it sounds more like he's discussing the weather. Honestly, it doesn't even break the top five of memorable near death experiences. It's only notable for the quite frankly excessive amount of times it happened to him before he learned to tell the nigh-indistinguishable mushrooms apart.
He stands, twirling his parrying dagger idly. ]
You're looking in the wrong place. [ Then, pointing with the blade: ] There's a cave not far from here where the ones that won't kill you grow.
[ !! Invisible dog ears prick upwards, happy to have won (?) The Mushroom Game; they droop somewhat immediately after, when he considers the amount of trial-and-error that must have happened until Verso like, learned to stop dying via shroom poisoning. "Not a pretty one" doesn't conjure pleasant images, after all.
But enough of being patronizing over Verso's wellbeing (for now). Blue eyes flick towards the cave, expression settling into quiet contemplation. ]
You really do know your way around every inch of the Continent.
[ Not accusatory. Mostly, just trying to wrap his head around the immortality thing, especially since so much of his life (everyone's life) in Lumière has been so steeped in the inevitability of the end. The Gommage, as looming as the Monolith across the sea. ]
[ Modest king! In truth, it's hard not to know his way around. After so many years of misadventure, there's a story associated with nearly every foot of this place. Admittedly, he can't quite remember the story associated with this cave at the moment, given that it's been a good few decades since he set foot in it—but it's probably not important. Surely it's nothing foreboding.
Sheathing the parrying dagger, he gestures for Clive to follow him across the clearing and toward the cave's dark opening. Provided, of course, that Clive is willing to be taken to a secondary location by a strange man. ]
I'm sure you know your way around Lumière like the back of your hand. [ Home is home, he means. ] The Continent is like that for me. Just... bigger, and inhabited by more deadly creatures.
[ Wouldn't it be awful if there was a mime with an awful haircut looming in the depths of this cave...
Clive follows, because of course he does. His palm opens in the gloom, summoning a mote of fire that hovers near him, illuminating the multifaceted walls of the damp space in a warm, orange glow. ]
You'd be surprised by how many deadly creatures are also in Lumière.
[ A joke! But also one at his own expense: his mother was terribly abusive, so there's that for horrific monsters who were allowed to roam free in polite society. ]
Though, admittedly, there were less dangerous things that I could unwittingly put in my mouth.
[ Clive cannot be a dark-haired, blue-eyed guy with a savior complex and fire theme who's unhealthily devoted to his sibling, has mommy issues, and is voiced by Ben Starr. One of them is going to have to change.
The glow of the little fire mote dances on the walls of the cave, although Verso is already trudging forward without it to help light the way, footprints unintentionally covering up the much larger prints in the moist cave floor. He leads the way further in until they reach a collection of fungi growing in the damp darkness, crawling up the cave wall. ]
See? [ He knew they were here. Verso taps his temple—memory like an elephant! Sounding as if he's pleased to be able to be impart useful knowledge, he adds, ] You want to look for cool, dark spaces.
[ I forgot that they fucking materialize their weapons so pretend he did that before!!! He conjures the dagger into his hand, blade cutting through the mushroom stems to free them from the wall. ]
That's where—
[ Within the darkness of the cave yet unlit by Clive's mote, something... rumbles. Suddenly, Verso remembers exactly why these mushrooms, here had been so memorable. It's not because he has the memory of an elephant. ]
Oh. [ He glances back at Clive. ] I should have mentioned—
[ Unfortunately, whatever he should have mentioned will forever remain a secret, because he's cut off by being barreled into by a Stalact at full speed, smacking into the hard cave wall with a comical thud. ]
[ Clive is a dark-haired, blue-eyed guy with a savior complex and fire theme who's unhealthily devoted to his sibling, has mommy issues, and is voiced by Ben Starr, but consider: Verso is far more charming. And far more loved by Stalacts.
It's always fucking Stalacts. (Monoco, somewhere back at camp, shivers.)
It's always something that Verso has conveniently (?) neglected to mention, too. Clive blinks back his surprise, but conjures his broadsword (I forgot that they did that too, I also forgot that Verso conjures a whole-ass piano at some point, how does chroma even work) in a whisper of a moment, taking up stance against the Nevron who, despite not having features to emote with, doesn't look pleased about having its home invaded by these weird squishy creatures. ]
―Verso!
[ Clive, very upset about seeing his traveling companion get ragdolled against a wall, flares in anger― literally. Flames dance along the outline of him, skimming through his hair and streaking it in pulsing red (very Final Fantasy of him). He'd go check on Verso if he could, but the Stalact is pounding its giant feet very, very precariously near Verso's prone (?) form. First order of business is getting its attention and moving it away from him.
This Stalact should have been dead yesterday, to be honest. Clive kicks off from where he's standing, moving to the other side of the cave and blasting the Nevron with a ball of fire that expertly conveys hey, I'll kill you for hurting my friend. Gentle dog by day, ruthless soldier by night. ]
[ You know what it never was? That serious. Verso stumbles up, wheezing a little (because, admittedly, his ribs seem to be momentarily crushed) but very much alive. Of course he is; if there is nothing in this world to count on, there's his continued existence. The ball of fire whizzes by his head as he pops up—a little too close for comfort, but now is hardly the time to be criticizing Clive's aim. ]
I'm good, [ he croaks, more embarrassed than anything else. This Stalact just made him look like a total dweeb in front of Clive.
Verso extends a hand, sword materializing in his palm. His body is currently still stitching itself back together, though, and he's too slow; the Stalact glows bright red, bounding toward Clive bodily, ready to collide into him much in the same way as he'd done Verso. The difference, of course, being that Clive can't will his ribs back into being whole.
Long-suffering, Verso mutters a swear. ] Don't just stand there like a tree— [ Mon arbre, please!!! ]
[ It's always serious when someone's wellbeing is at stake. Even the wellbeing of an immortal who likes to microdose (macrodose) on psychedelics to escape the burden of his existential nightmare.
The Stalact is an unstoppable force; to meet it, Clive becomes an immovable object. The air around them bristles with heated chroma― for a moment, it almost looks like Clive is on fire.
And, well. He is. One second, two-legged and human-shaped; the next, two-legged and Nevron-shaped. A massive creature that looks carved from obsidian, horned and clawed and pulsing with flame. It grabs the incoming Stalact, grips one of its flailing legs―
[ The Stalact wails in both pain and confusion—these were supposed to be squishy intruders, not giant, flaming ones—and thrashes wildly. The abrupt dismemberment seems to give it a brief second wind, a last dying hurrah; it pounds wildly with its remaining legs, the entire cave shaking with the force of it. He can practically feel his bones rattle inside his body.
There's a faint cracking sound. Verso glances up. Mon fucking dieu, indeed. ]
Look ou—
[ The cave ceiling collapses on them in a deluge of dirt and mud and rock, burying both Clive and the Stalact underneath its weight. That takes care of one problem—the Stalact—but creates quite another. Clive, who I can only assume turns back into his human form upon going unconscious but swat me with a rolled up newspaper if I'm wrong, has just been crushed by a not-insignificant weight, and while Verso would normally go running for a healer, the cave-in has also shut off the exit. So, you know, not his best day.
Clive's beefy arm sticks out from underneath bedrock. Quite possibly making his injuries worse, Verso spends the next several long minutes painstakingly pulling him from the rock and depositing his limp body on the ground, where he toes at him to find that Clive isn't conscious (yet, he hopes; maybe being transformed into that creature acted as a buffer against the worst of his injuries). Again, not a great day.
Fuck. Well, Verso sits on the ground beside Clive's slack, prone body, leaning against the cave wall in the dark. ]
[ Things Clive should have accounted for: that. It's why he doesn't exactly love being angry on a good day― there are repercussions to blind rage.
Like, say, a cave-in. The kind of instant karma that would've been funny if the scale of it were a lot smaller. The last thought Clive (who does, in fact, shrink back into the human-shaped doofus he usually is when he gets knocked out) has before succumbing to darkness is a very eloquent, very uncalculated, fuck.
It's the same thought he has when he eventually comes to a bit later, every nerve in his body screaming bloody murder. A finger twitches, a meaty arm twitches, his leg twitches. ]
Fuck, [ he rasps. He feels like he got hit by a truck. (Get in line, honestly.) ]
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[ great-grandfather actually but who's counting... ]
But I wouldn't dream of insulting the chef.
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[ Unlike the last time he was on cooking duty, when he almost burned the entire campsite down, let alone the pot. Shh. ]
I'll be back shortly. And thank you for your mushroom-related counsel.
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On second thought, I might have you appraise my findings before I commit to cooking them.
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I'll do the foraging.
[ gotta do everything my fucking self around here ]
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No. You rest. I'll never get better at foraging if I don't try.
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[ or maybe he just grew a tolerance...... ]
At least let me teach you. You know, poison mushrooms still give me a stomachache.
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...Alright. If you'd do me the kindness, I'd appreciate it.
I'm by the thickets near the cliff walls.
[ Staring at his basket with mounting suspicion. Are these small... or medium-small spots?????? ]
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Gesturing to a few brown-capped mushrooms: ]
—Oh, no. You, uh, don't want to cook with these.
[ But he is pocketing them for himself. Don't worry about it. ]
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－before his expression shifts, first to disappointment (he really thought he had this!!!), then to surprise (hello????). ]
Ah. [ Gesturing for Verso to, like, hand the deathshrooms over. ] ―We should toss those over the cliff, then. [ Verso please he is so worried about you ]
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[ A deathshroom, he means. Not these ones, anyway. There's a very faint upwards curl to his lips, perhaps a bit amused at Clive's misunderstanding. (Admittedly, the interpretation isn't entirely unfounded.) ]
These ones will make you smell colors.
[ So unless Clive wants the whole camp to start tripping balls, it's probably wise not to put them in his stew. ]
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Oh.
[ A moment for that to percolate, and Clive huffs a laugh, involuntary. ]
―Best not to tell Lune about those. She may make you eat them. For science.
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Right. [ Like it's a fun little secret: ] Best keep it between us.
[ Because he's not sharing. Verso crouches next to the thicket, then, pulling out his knife and gesturing to a fungus with the point of the blade. Light brown, with small speckles. Or is it medium-small? ]
So. Death or dinner?
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"Death or dinner" is a somewhat more pressing concern, anyway. Clive kneels next to Verso, brows furrowed in concentration, observing the small (medium-small?) spots with knifelike intensity. ]
D... [ hnrgh ] ...eath. [ With more conviction, this time: ] Death.
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[ The agony of death by mushroom is recalled with a tone mundane enough that it sounds more like he's discussing the weather. Honestly, it doesn't even break the top five of memorable near death experiences. It's only notable for the quite frankly excessive amount of times it happened to him before he learned to tell the nigh-indistinguishable mushrooms apart.
He stands, twirling his parrying dagger idly. ]
You're looking in the wrong place. [ Then, pointing with the blade: ] There's a cave not far from here where the ones that won't kill you grow.
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But enough of being patronizing over Verso's wellbeing (for now). Blue eyes flick towards the cave, expression settling into quiet contemplation. ]
You really do know your way around every inch of the Continent.
[ Not accusatory. Mostly, just trying to wrap his head around the immortality thing, especially since so much of his life (everyone's life) in Lumière has been so steeped in the inevitability of the end. The Gommage, as looming as the Monolith across the sea. ]
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[ Modest king! In truth, it's hard not to know his way around. After so many years of misadventure, there's a story associated with nearly every foot of this place. Admittedly, he can't quite remember the story associated with this cave at the moment, given that it's been a good few decades since he set foot in it—but it's probably not important. Surely it's nothing foreboding.
Sheathing the parrying dagger, he gestures for Clive to follow him across the clearing and toward the cave's dark opening. Provided, of course, that Clive is willing to be taken to a secondary location by a strange man. ]
I'm sure you know your way around Lumière like the back of your hand. [ Home is home, he means. ] The Continent is like that for me. Just... bigger, and inhabited by more deadly creatures.
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Clive follows, because of course he does. His palm opens in the gloom, summoning a mote of fire that hovers near him, illuminating the multifaceted walls of the damp space in a warm, orange glow. ]
You'd be surprised by how many deadly creatures are also in Lumière.
[ A joke! But also one at his own expense: his mother was terribly abusive, so there's that for horrific monsters who were allowed to roam free in polite society. ]
Though, admittedly, there were less dangerous things that I could unwittingly put in my mouth.
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The glow of the little fire mote dances on the walls of the cave, although Verso is already trudging forward without it to help light the way, footprints unintentionally covering up the much larger prints in the moist cave floor. He leads the way further in until they reach a collection of fungi growing in the damp darkness, crawling up the cave wall. ]
See? [ He knew they were here. Verso taps his temple—memory like an elephant! Sounding as if he's pleased to be able to be impart useful knowledge, he adds, ] You want to look for cool, dark spaces.
[ I forgot that they fucking materialize their weapons so pretend he did that before!!! He conjures the dagger into his hand, blade cutting through the mushroom stems to free them from the wall. ]
That's where—
[ Within the darkness of the cave yet unlit by Clive's mote, something... rumbles. Suddenly, Verso remembers exactly why these mushrooms, here had been so memorable. It's not because he has the memory of an elephant. ]
Oh. [ He glances back at Clive. ] I should have mentioned—
[ Unfortunately, whatever he should have mentioned will forever remain a secret, because he's cut off by being barreled into by a Stalact at full speed, smacking into the hard cave wall with a comical thud. ]
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It's always fucking Stalacts. (Monoco, somewhere back at camp, shivers.)
It's always something that Verso has conveniently (?) neglected to mention, too. Clive blinks back his surprise, but conjures his broadsword (I forgot that they did that too, I also forgot that Verso conjures a whole-ass piano at some point, how does chroma even work) in a whisper of a moment, taking up stance against the Nevron who, despite not having features to emote with, doesn't look pleased about having its home invaded by these weird squishy creatures. ]
―Verso!
[ Clive, very upset about seeing his traveling companion get ragdolled against a wall, flares in anger― literally. Flames dance along the outline of him, skimming through his hair and streaking it in pulsing red (very Final Fantasy of him). He'd go check on Verso if he could, but the Stalact is pounding its giant feet very, very precariously near Verso's prone (?) form. First order of business is getting its attention and moving it away from him.
This Stalact should have been dead yesterday, to be honest. Clive kicks off from where he's standing, moving to the other side of the cave and blasting the Nevron with a ball of fire that expertly conveys hey, I'll kill you for hurting my friend. Gentle dog by day, ruthless soldier by night. ]
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I'm good, [ he croaks, more embarrassed than anything else. This Stalact just made him look like a total dweeb in front of Clive.
Verso extends a hand, sword materializing in his palm. His body is currently still stitching itself back together, though, and he's too slow; the Stalact glows bright red, bounding toward Clive bodily, ready to collide into him much in the same way as he'd done Verso. The difference, of course, being that Clive can't will his ribs back into being whole.
Long-suffering, Verso mutters a swear. ] Don't just stand there like a tree— [ Mon arbre, please!!! ]
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The Stalact is an unstoppable force; to meet it, Clive becomes an immovable object. The air around them bristles with heated chroma― for a moment, it almost looks like Clive is on fire.
And, well. He is. One second, two-legged and human-shaped; the next, two-legged and Nevron-shaped. A massive creature that looks carved from obsidian, horned and clawed and pulsing with flame. It grabs the incoming Stalact, grips one of its flailing legs―
―and tears it clean off.
(It really wasn't this serious.) ]
aggressively godmodes clive into suffering
[ The Stalact wails in both pain and confusion—these were supposed to be squishy intruders, not giant, flaming ones—and thrashes wildly. The abrupt dismemberment seems to give it a brief second wind, a last dying hurrah; it pounds wildly with its remaining legs, the entire cave shaking with the force of it. He can practically feel his bones rattle inside his body.
There's a faint cracking sound. Verso glances up. Mon fucking dieu, indeed. ]
Look ou—
[ The cave ceiling collapses on them in a deluge of dirt and mud and rock, burying both Clive and the Stalact underneath its weight. That takes care of one problem—the Stalact—but creates quite another. Clive, who I can only assume turns back into his human form upon going unconscious but swat me with a rolled up newspaper if I'm wrong, has just been crushed by a not-insignificant weight, and while Verso would normally go running for a healer, the cave-in has also shut off the exit. So, you know, not his best day.
Clive's beefy arm sticks out from underneath bedrock. Quite possibly making his injuries worse, Verso spends the next several long minutes painstakingly pulling him from the rock and depositing his limp body on the ground, where he toes at him to find that Clive isn't conscious (yet, he hopes; maybe being transformed into that creature acted as a buffer against the worst of his injuries). Again, not a great day.
Fuck. Well, Verso sits on the ground beside Clive's slack, prone body, leaning against the cave wall in the dark. ]
i owe you my LIFE
Like, say, a cave-in. The kind of instant karma that would've been funny if the scale of it were a lot smaller. The last thought Clive (who does, in fact, shrink back into the human-shaped doofus he usually is when he gets knocked out) has before succumbing to darkness is a very eloquent, very uncalculated, fuck.
It's the same thought he has when he eventually comes to a bit later, every nerve in his body screaming bloody murder. A finger twitches, a meaty arm twitches, his leg twitches. ]
Fuck, [ he rasps. He feels like he got hit by a truck. (Get in line, honestly.) ]
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