overflow.

[flamebrand]

nsfw included in the threads! please skim through at your own risk...!

Comments

[nibbling]

[ He didn't say 'no'!!! ]

Well, aren't you boring.

[flamebrand]

With everything happening around us, I think we can all do with a bit of the mundane every now and then.

Besides, I thought I wasn't your type.

[ because, you know. Astarion is always mean to him (affectionate). ]

[nibbling]

Wherever did you get such a ridiculous idea?

[ Just because he criticizes Clive's dumbass personality, he's not allowed to think he's hot shirtless?? ]

[flamebrand]

Your scathing remarks about my so-called heroics, for one.

[ Evidence A: yesterday he went out of his way to scale the face of a cliff so an elderly couple could have flowers for their anniversary dinner table. It was incredibly twee. ]

[nibbling]

I don't recall saying 'heroics'. Perhaps you're thinking of 'idiocy'?

But that has little to do with whether I'd like to watch you grunt and sweat.

[flamebrand]

[ 🥺... ]

Then I invite you to join me for my morning training. Lots of grunting and sweating happen there.

[nibbling]

When you say 'join', I hope you do mean as a motivating spectator.

[ Astarion can't even do one push-up without whining. ]

[flamebrand]

You don't want to know how it feels to swing a broadsword?

[nibbling]

Mm. I'll leave the grunting and sweating with your hands wrapped around something girthy to you.

[ Broadsword 2 heavy. :( ]

[flamebrand]

Then you might teach me how to handle a dagger. I've been told that I could stand to show some more finesse with it. Usually, I just throw mine.

[ is he hellbent on making this a joint activity???? yes ]

[nibbling]

You want me to teach you how to properly use a dagger?

[ oddly... flattered...??? ]

Well, I don't usually do that sort of thing for free, but considering your aim [ it's fine, he's just mean ] I suppose you are a bit of a charity case.

[flamebrand]

[ he has enough self-respect not to get mad about being called a charity case, but: ]

Good. I'll see you at first light tomorrow.

[ at first light ]

[nibbling]

So, what, ten AM?

[ SURELY 'FIRST LIGHT' IS JUST A SAYING... ]

[flamebrand]

[ laughing! ]

Take ten, and divide it in half.

[nibbling]

[ NOT laughing: ] You're going to make me do math, AND you're going to make me get up early?

[flamebrand]

Oh, I agree. I don't think my shirtlessness is worth all that.

[nibbling]

Well. I guess you can continue throwing your daggers off-center, then.

[flamebrand]

[ 🥺🥺🥺...!!!! ]

Seven in the morning, then.

[nibbling]

Sure. You can start practicing at seven.

I'll be there at eight, of course.

[flamebrand]

[ that leaves them with precisely like, fifteen minutes of training before they have to break camp and get a move on!!!!! oh well. ]

Fine. Eight it is. I'll have my dagger ready.

[nibbling]

[ Implying Astarion is going to actually be at all educational for more than five minutes!!! ]

And your shirt off.

[flamebrand]

[ Clive needs a lawyer. or like, someone who will negotiate terms on his behalf. he literally got five percent of what he wanted from this conversation with Astarion, but also: five percent isn't zero percent!!!! ]

And my shirt off, yes. I'll see you in the morning.

[nibbling]

Rest up! I'm quite an exacting teacher, and I do believe in corporal punishment.

[flamebrand]

[ Clive leaves the conversation at that. The very optional, no obligation text-to-action followup is thus: at precisely 7:50 in the morning, Clive sics his giant dog on Astarion, forcing him awake via very insistent doggy kisses. Alternately, I'll terrorize another person on your roster if you want to spare Astarion!!!!!! ]

[nibbling]

[ pls it's me who's doing the terrorizing... which is to say that Astarion stalks out of his tent moments after, face gleaming with slobber, hair in a horrific state. Everyone in this game sleeps in their regular ass clothes for some reason, so the small mercy is that at least he's not in pajamas. He finds Clive quickly, glowering as he stomps up to him. ]

That dog of yours should be sent to a farm up north.