[ It's a sweet sentiment; Clive almost doesn't know what to do with it. But he takes Jill's hand and squeezes it, reassuring her that he appreciates her more than she'll ever know. ]
He'd turn beet-red and go silent, I think.
[ Hopeless. Clive still feels inclined to turn beet-red and go silent, sometimes. ]
That boy had no idea how to express himself around you when he was fifteen.
I think you still would have frozen like that until relatively recently.
[Even her teasing him is done sweetly, her fingers lacing between his. They're both too shy for their own good, sometimes. Not so much with one another anymore. Thankfully.
Her boots almost manage a step before she pauses. Who knows when they'll be here again? She looks to Clive.]
[ Accurately called out... another thing Clive is figuring out about himself: he likes being heckled by Jill. It speaks to the fact that she isn't holding her thoughts back as much as she might have before, and feels comfortable enough to demur.
A low laugh, bemused, and then- a glance over his shoulder at the scattered items still sitting where they used to be in childhood. He gives it some thought, then lets go of Jill's hand to crouch in front of one of the few wooden toys on the floor.
The rocking horse is what he decides on. He straightens up, and holds it up for Jill's appraisal. ]
I could put it next to Little Torgal.
[ the lumpy stuffed toy that he'd brought back to Jill before. it strikes him that he should probably ask Jill to share quarters with him, at some point. ]
[A good choice. Jill reaches out to thumb away some dust, glad he wants to bring something of this place to their home.]
A reminder of two of my favorite days.
[Perhaps a little out of order, falling into bed one day and then saying I love you on another, but they spent enough of their lives following imaginary rules. They can live as they choose.]
You've made me the happiest woman to ever live, Clive.
[ Every time he thinks he couldn't possibly adore her more, Jill reaches into his heart and makes it grow two times the size of what it was before. It's likely that normal men and women don't fumble for more than two decades with something as simple as being the most important people in each other's lives, but this thing that they have, that they made together―
―this is perfect. Crystalline and everlasting, more so than the big rocks they've been shattering for the past five years. ]
May that hold true, forever.
[ Not just in this moment, but for the rest of her life. He hugs her waist, and rests his lips against the crown of her head. ]
Were you? You're three years older than me. I would think it was I that was born to love you.
[Maybe born to lose her family, to endure the pain and misery of the Iron Islands, but to ultimately be with Clive, always. It makes it all seem worthwhile. Especially when she's in his arms, and she feels like nothing bad could possibly happen again.]
Perhaps you were born to be loved by me. I think that sounds better.
[Finally, someone in service to him. It needn't always be him serving others. Doing for others.]
[ "To be loved". That's new. Especially in this little hut, where the biggest of his problems was that he was a son that was incapable of being loved. Born and bypassed. He isn't bitter about it― Joshua has always been a blessing in his life, ever since he was born- but it's the sort of thing that has become the unmovable truth of 'Clive Rosfield's' makeup.
Not so, though, according to Jill. And she often sees things so clearly. ]
A compromise, then, [ as he leads her towards the ladder leading back down to tall island grass and long-untrodden ground. ] We were born to love one another.
[ Because they're both stubborn, and he'd like them to agree on this silly little semantic thing. ]
Very well. [Jill laughs as her boots touch grass. She could very well be stubborn, but he's likely not wrong. The moment he joins her, her hand reaches for his. It's been nice to touch him so openly at the Hideaway, to let her hand linger on his at a table. It's still just as nice in private, just the two of them.] We were born to love one another.
[At his question, she pulls herself closer to him, humming with approval.]
I was hoping you'd ask. I can't imagine sleeping apart after today. [Which almost sounds like she's saying always, she realizes, and quickly continues.] I mean, for tonight.
[ It is still his bed. And still his room and office, ostensibly. But: ]
If you won't miss having your own space, [ for a given value of "own", since the Hideaway is getting more and more crowded with each new catastrophe that happens on both sides of the Twins, ] I'd like it if you shared mine.
[ Indefinitely, obviously. He glances down at Jill, and he's both tentative but hopeful- the invisible Torgal ears are pricked up in anticipation of a yes. ]
[Her "own" space is shared with several women and children. Jill doesn't mind much--she's lived with less, and she really only needs her cot when she's not out elsewhere or, these days, in Clive's bed. One of her few possessions of note is a perfume, but that's so precious to her it's kept in Clive's quarters, away from curious fingers. She hasn't even worn it yet. For a special occasion, she tells herself. Had she known Clive was going to take her here today, she might have put some on.]
Are you certain? [She looks up with him and knows he is. The answer is yes, of course. He must know.] You're not tired of cold feet against your legs in the morning?
[ Their new Hideaway has been theirs for five years now, following the grand tragedy of Hugo Kupka's rampage- and yet, Clive's chambers have never felt more like home than it does now, with Jill occupying it whenever she wishes. There's something indescribable about turning over in bed to her shape nestled next to his, or opening a drawer to find one of her shirts starched and pressed alongside his, just in case she has need for something fresh in the morning.
Simple joys. Small things. They all make him feel more human. He remembers so little of things like this from childhood, and it's almost as Jill can singlehandedly fill in all of these absences and replace them with something colorful and new. ]
I would brave frostbite to have you by my side, always.
[ He hugs her waist, and kisses her cheek. ] ―Besides, they're no more jarring than Torgal's nose to my face.
Edited (the unforgivable sin of MISSPELLING torgal's NAME) 2025-09-11 04:38 (UTC)
[Her icy toes take offense! Besides, he has all that muscle and all that body heat for what? To warm all parts of her, surely. Jill finds herself looking forward to the cooler months. A part of her knows she should encourage Clive to repair his walls (or just have it done for him), but a greater part of her thinks it might be nice to use him as a blanket. Decisions, decisions...
She laughs, but becomes more serious after, squeezing Clive's hands.]
It would be a great comfort to sleep beside you every night we're both home. It grows more and more difficult to say goodbye to you.
[ Why so big and warm... if not for cuddling...???? It's a privilege and a pleasure to be Jill's human-shaped space heater, and Clive will oblige the request as seriously as he tackles all of his duties. Arms will stay firmly around Jill's waist at all times when they're in bed together.
Because they will be. Another promise to add to the growing pile. ]
Then it'll be our home, and our bed. [ Fingers laced, he starts guiding her back towards the coastline of the small island, where their skiff sways precariously on calm waters. ] And I want to return to it now, together.
[ A little bold? Maybe. But they don't even need to have sex: he just wants her closeness, and to come to terms with yet another new normal. This I love you that they've finally spoken into existence. He wants to sit in it for a while. ]
So would I. I can think of nothing better than being there, in the arms of the man I love.
[Founder, it feels good to say it without hesitation. Jill's smile is cheerful as she glances to him despite not feeling so fond of that skiff. It just has to get them back...]
Perhaps he'll allow me the pleasure of doting on him.
[Sex is great, sure, but what about having your hair pet or shoulders massaged? Or all of it. Jill has no plans beyond him today, unless some disaster aims to cut their honeymoon of sorts short.]
Happily, if the lady he loves will let him reciprocate.
[ Jill has put up with so much of his shortcomings over the years. She deserves a bit of pampering, too.
Meanwhile, in the Hideaway: Joshua, being the best of them that he is, is giving firm instructions to Gav and the others to leave Clive alone for the day. Unless there is an unmitigated disaster, of course. But please do bring inquiries to him first. That's the sort of vibe they'll return to once their overlong boat rides are over, and they'll find themselves greeted by impish children who run around the couple in circles with their hands over their mouths.
"We're supposed to leave you two alone!", they giggle. Clive blinks, confused. ]
[Jill looks to Clive and sees that the dots do not connect. Her immediate suspect is Tarja, with Joshua as a close second. While she knows they're no longer subtle, being perceived still makes her face heat up. She clears her throat, letting go of Clive's hand so that she can crouch down and pretend to grab at the children (for tickles, of course), sending them giggling and shrieking into the depths of the Hideaway. Good luck, Mid.]
Little rascals. Shall we?
[Don't mind what they said, Clive. Jill smiles at him sweetly before taking his hand again.]
[ There's a big fat question mark hovering over Clive's head, which dissipates as soon as he sees Jill tending to the children. He breaks into a soft smile, then, enamored by how well she handles them, and the softness lingers around for when Jill takes his hand and leads her back on-course towards his (their) quarters.
Onwards they walk, past Maeve and a crowd of men and women around the bar who, upon seeing the pair, lift their glasses and take a swig of ale.
The big fat question mark returns. ] Was there meant to be a celebration today?
[ Believe him... 🥺 They scale the steps up two at a time (Oscar is very noticeably missing from his usual post outside the door), and Clive glances sideways towards Jill to gauge her reaction. ]
Though I did leave Torgal with Joshua before we left. The three of us wouldn't have fit on the skiff.
[ Not the only reason he left their dog son behind, but that should be obvious. ]
[Aha. Jill gives Clive an amused look once they're behind the closed door, offered some privacy by broken and deteriorating wood. She might see about some repairs after all, given the size of some of the gaps.]
Life is blissfully dull for most, here. [No one wishes for another attack, and the children are creative enough to entertain themselves, but the general population has a day of working, eating, sleeping. They don't get to leave unless they wish to face danger. They're free, but their world is small. For now.]
Even the suggestion of good news will get around like wildfire. Whether anything was said or simply assumed.
[Joshua is no gossip--she thinks--but a request to give Jill and Clive some space for whatever reason would make people talk.]
[ Finally, the dots connect. It's hard to know how the scrutiny makes him feel, but it doesn't skim anywhere near embarrassment-- what could make him more proud than being known as the man that Jill chose?
He makes his way towards his desk, where he starts stripping off his armor and the heaviest of his leathers. If the others are celebrating that he finally made things right with Jill, he doesn't anticipate being interrupted tonight the way they'd had the first time. ]
They're good people. [ Affectionately, and sincerely. ] I can think of no better to celebrate us.
[Jill, meanwhile, sits on the edge of the bed to take off her boots. There's already a little corner she's claimed for herself, a spot to put said boots, but when she catches his glance she can't help but return to his side.]
I think they have for some years, now. Known that you're mine, that is.
[She reaches up to help him with what he hasn't relieved himself of already, a soft smile on her lips.]
[ A soft, surprised laugh at they've known, which is audacious enough that Clive is delighted by it. Jill, his Jill, being so open about having claimed him- for the millionth time, he feels like the luckiest man in the known history of mankind.
His hard outer layers come off, and gets laid to rest alongside his cape. He's just as delighted to see how Jill insinuates herself into his space, but tries to keep all of these little sparks of happiness to himself, lest she be exasperated by his simplicity.
(She might feel it, anyway: little glimmers of his aether, sparking along her skin.) ]
―No. I don't expect they will. We are as we've always been. [ Comrades-in-arms, partners. They're just adding another adjective into the mix: lovers. ] And I've always loved you as you are.
[Perhaps she's biased, perhaps she's giving herself too much credit, but she thinks he laughs more, now. Maybe that gives away his delight more than anything that can be felt between two Dominants. There's a light to his eyes and a softness to them that feels more, now. Surely she must be the same. She's woken up in his arms with sore cheeks from smiling too much and a full heart from being able to kiss and dote on him freely.]
Mm. I love you, too. I always have, and I can't see that ever changing.
[It still feels wonderful to say. She hopes it will always feel new, full of the meaning it carries. She looks at Clive once he's down to his shirt, hands coming to settle at his sides. While her hands are politely on or near him in public now, in private? It's difficult to keep away. She can let them wander a little.]
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She nods, slipping one of her hands into his.]
I wish I could take that boy in my arms and reassure him he's loved. That he'll be alright.
[She'll never forgive Anabella. Or Elwin, she thinks. But that she'll keep that to herself.]
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He'd turn beet-red and go silent, I think.
[ Hopeless. Clive still feels inclined to turn beet-red and go silent, sometimes. ]
That boy had no idea how to express himself around you when he was fifteen.
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[Even her teasing him is done sweetly, her fingers lacing between his. They're both too shy for their own good, sometimes. Not so much with one another anymore. Thankfully.
Her boots almost manage a step before she pauses. Who knows when they'll be here again? She looks to Clive.]
Would you like to bring anything back with us?
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A low laugh, bemused, and then- a glance over his shoulder at the scattered items still sitting where they used to be in childhood. He gives it some thought, then lets go of Jill's hand to crouch in front of one of the few wooden toys on the floor.
The rocking horse is what he decides on. He straightens up, and holds it up for Jill's appraisal. ]
I could put it next to Little Torgal.
[ the lumpy stuffed toy that he'd brought back to Jill before. it strikes him that he should probably ask Jill to share quarters with him, at some point. ]
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A reminder of two of my favorite days.
[Perhaps a little out of order, falling into bed one day and then saying I love you on another, but they spent enough of their lives following imaginary rules. They can live as they choose.]
You've made me the happiest woman to ever live, Clive.
[Dramatic? Perhaps. Yet Jill means every word.]
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―this is perfect. Crystalline and everlasting, more so than the big rocks they've been shattering for the past five years. ]
May that hold true, forever.
[ Not just in this moment, but for the rest of her life. He hugs her waist, and rests his lips against the crown of her head. ]
I was born to love you.
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[Maybe born to lose her family, to endure the pain and misery of the Iron Islands, but to ultimately be with Clive, always. It makes it all seem worthwhile. Especially when she's in his arms, and she feels like nothing bad could possibly happen again.]
Perhaps you were born to be loved by me. I think that sounds better.
[Finally, someone in service to him. It needn't always be him serving others. Doing for others.]
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Not so, though, according to Jill. And she often sees things so clearly. ]
A compromise, then, [ as he leads her towards the ladder leading back down to tall island grass and long-untrodden ground. ] We were born to love one another.
[ Because they're both stubborn, and he'd like them to agree on this silly little semantic thing. ]
...Will you stay with me in my quarters today?
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[At his question, she pulls herself closer to him, humming with approval.]
I was hoping you'd ask. I can't imagine sleeping apart after today. [Which almost sounds like she's saying always, she realizes, and quickly continues.] I mean, for tonight.
[It's still his bed.]
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If you won't miss having your own space, [ for a given value of "own", since the Hideaway is getting more and more crowded with each new catastrophe that happens on both sides of the Twins, ] I'd like it if you shared mine.
[ Indefinitely, obviously. He glances down at Jill, and he's both tentative but hopeful- the invisible Torgal ears are pricked up in anticipation of a yes. ]
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Are you certain? [She looks up with him and knows he is. The answer is yes, of course. He must know.] You're not tired of cold feet against your legs in the morning?
[He's so warm she can't help herself.]
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Simple joys. Small things. They all make him feel more human. He remembers so little of things like this from childhood, and it's almost as Jill can singlehandedly fill in all of these absences and replace them with something colorful and new. ]
I would brave frostbite to have you by my side, always.
[ He hugs her waist, and kisses her cheek. ] ―Besides, they're no more jarring than Torgal's nose to my face.
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[Her icy toes take offense! Besides, he has all that muscle and all that body heat for what? To warm all parts of her, surely. Jill finds herself looking forward to the cooler months. A part of her knows she should encourage Clive to repair his walls (or just have it done for him), but a greater part of her thinks it might be nice to use him as a blanket. Decisions, decisions...
She laughs, but becomes more serious after, squeezing Clive's hands.]
It would be a great comfort to sleep beside you every night we're both home. It grows more and more difficult to say goodbye to you.
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Because they will be. Another promise to add to the growing pile. ]
Then it'll be our home, and our bed. [ Fingers laced, he starts guiding her back towards the coastline of the small island, where their skiff sways precariously on calm waters. ] And I want to return to it now, together.
[ A little bold? Maybe. But they don't even need to have sex: he just wants her closeness, and to come to terms with yet another new normal. This I love you that they've finally spoken into existence. He wants to sit in it for a while. ]
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[Founder, it feels good to say it without hesitation. Jill's smile is cheerful as she glances to him despite not feeling so fond of that skiff. It just has to get them back...]
Perhaps he'll allow me the pleasure of doting on him.
[Sex is great, sure, but what about having your hair pet or shoulders massaged? Or all of it. Jill has no plans beyond him today, unless some disaster aims to cut their honeymoon of sorts short.]
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[ Jill has put up with so much of his shortcomings over the years. She deserves a bit of pampering, too.
Meanwhile, in the Hideaway: Joshua, being the best of them that he is, is giving firm instructions to Gav and the others to leave Clive alone for the day. Unless there is an unmitigated disaster, of course. But please do bring inquiries to him first. That's the sort of vibe they'll return to once their overlong boat rides are over, and they'll find themselves greeted by impish children who run around the couple in circles with their hands over their mouths.
"We're supposed to leave you two alone!", they giggle. Clive blinks, confused. ]
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Little rascals. Shall we?
[Don't mind what they said, Clive. Jill smiles at him sweetly before taking his hand again.]
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Onwards they walk, past Maeve and a crowd of men and women around the bar who, upon seeing the pair, lift their glasses and take a swig of ale.
The big fat question mark returns. ] Was there meant to be a celebration today?
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I suppose that depends on what you said before we left, and who you said it to.
[This time, Joshua is her prime suspect. But she'll let Clive confess that himself.]
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[ Believe him... 🥺 They scale the steps up two at a time (Oscar is very noticeably missing from his usual post outside the door), and Clive glances sideways towards Jill to gauge her reaction. ]
Though I did leave Torgal with Joshua before we left. The three of us wouldn't have fit on the skiff.
[ Not the only reason he left their dog son behind, but that should be obvious. ]
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Life is blissfully dull for most, here. [No one wishes for another attack, and the children are creative enough to entertain themselves, but the general population has a day of working, eating, sleeping. They don't get to leave unless they wish to face danger. They're free, but their world is small. For now.]
Even the suggestion of good news will get around like wildfire. Whether anything was said or simply assumed.
[Joshua is no gossip--she thinks--but a request to give Jill and Clive some space for whatever reason would make people talk.]
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He makes his way towards his desk, where he starts stripping off his armor and the heaviest of his leathers. If the others are celebrating that he finally made things right with Jill, he doesn't anticipate being interrupted tonight the way they'd had the first time. ]
They're good people. [ Affectionately, and sincerely. ] I can think of no better to celebrate us.
[ More affectionately, as he glances at Jill. ]
And I would have them know that I'm yours.
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I think they have for some years, now. Known that you're mine, that is.
[She reaches up to help him with what he hasn't relieved himself of already, a soft smile on her lips.]
I don't expect much to change between us. Do you?
[Beyond the open affection, now.]
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His hard outer layers come off, and gets laid to rest alongside his cape. He's just as delighted to see how Jill insinuates herself into his space, but tries to keep all of these little sparks of happiness to himself, lest she be exasperated by his simplicity.
(She might feel it, anyway: little glimmers of his aether, sparking along her skin.) ]
―No. I don't expect they will. We are as we've always been. [ Comrades-in-arms, partners. They're just adding another adjective into the mix: lovers. ] And I've always loved you as you are.
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Mm. I love you, too. I always have, and I can't see that ever changing.
[It still feels wonderful to say. She hopes it will always feel new, full of the meaning it carries. She looks at Clive once he's down to his shirt, hands coming to settle at his sides. While her hands are politely on or near him in public now, in private? It's difficult to keep away. She can let them wander a little.]
Will you join me in bed, Clive?
[Like he'd say no! She's just playing coy.]
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apologies for the slowness...! finally back from work-related traveling 🙏
welcome back!!! did you see the logos video the 16 team dropped yesterday 👀👀👀
I DID and i'm begging at SE's altar for content... clive journals about jill... ben starr please
if he doesn't go on about his wifey it's on sight, ben starr
i refuse to believe that clive's journals aren't 95% about wanting to kiss jill
this is canon tbh
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dear diary: we did it 💖
dear diary: we fucked and i cried about it 💖
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