flamebrand | [ CLOSED TO NOBURDEN. ]

[ Ah. Right. It would seem off that Torgal's being left out, wouldn't it. Clive hesitates for a beat after Jill poses the question, clearly looking inside himself for an answer that would seem appropriate, and finally just decides to say: ]

No Torgal or Joshua.

[ Which, you know, is not an explanation, but it's not a lie. (Somewhere in Dalimil, L'ubor has the irrepressible urge to cackle.)

He clears his throat, and gestures towards the boats. ] ...Shall we?

[It takes some effort not to look insanely amused. Jill almost cracks, clears her throat, and tucks her hair behind her ear. She could be cruel and ask all too innocent questions about this little trip, but she decides to be his peace rather than his terror.]

Of course.

[She'll even pre-emptively put her hand in his so that he can help her on board, a thing he did even before their relationship grew.]

Will we be away long?

[ Jill― light of his life, warmth of his soul― please stop asking questions. Clive helps her onto the boat as he always does, bracing her balance and letting her sit on the least rickety part of the ferry, and tries to struggle for an answer, again.

"I'm trying to take you somewhere to bare my soul to you and tell you that I love you, so I have no idea how long that would take" is decidedly not what he wants to say right now, so.

Tentatively: ] I... anticipate not. [ How long do love confessions take??? Founder, he's out of his depth. ] Though I haven't been given any assignments the rest of the day, so... as long as you'd like, I suppose.

[ gods help him he's off to a bad start ]

[Oh, maybe she'll terrorize him a little bit. It's too easy, and he's very cute when he's trying to cover his ass.]

I've nothing that needs my immediate attention, either.

[She's sure there will be some more hunts posted sooner or later, but there's nothing to be done about that now.]

And you should be more careful with your words, Clive. I'd keep you every moment of every day if I could.

[But often he's needed by so many others. A part of her has found a new peace, being able to slip into his bed and his arm some nights, but it also makes her miss him all the more when either one of them happens to be on the road.]

[ Clive fancies himself a decent obfuscator, but the truth of the matter is that being raised a soldier, then having his dignity beaten out of him for thirteen years hasn't done much to cultivate Healthy Ways to Navigate Life.

That said, being harmlessly terrorized by Jill is the best thing that's happened to him all week. Every time she demonstrates any sort of lightness of being, he feels his own heart swell in response. ]

And I would be a happier man for it.

[ (Obolus, who is sitting on the far edge of the boat to ferry it continent-side, stares into a nonexistent camera as if to say "really? in front of my salad?") ]

...I'll explain myself more properly once we reach Port Isolde.

[ Which will happen after a timeskip, to spare poor Obolus the pain. Though it'll be from one boat to another after they reach the familiar, fog-laden shores of the Port, onto a rickety little skiff that's built more for a boy and his puppy than two grown adults. ]

[Jill tries to be patient, truly, but she would like to hear what Clive would like to say before she breaks through the aged, damped wood, and into the cold water. She knows there's much more said between them now, but some words they've held closer to their own hearts. Held for the right moment.

She might look at him with a touch more fondness.]

Well? Where are you taking me, Clive?

To an island off the coast, [ Clive offers, unhelpfully, as they load themselves up on yet another boat journey across water. Mercifully, this trip is shorter than the last one― just a few quick minutes of paddling, made faster by the fact that Clive is no longer 15 with still-developing muscles.

After some maneuvering, and with more conviction: ] ...A place I kept to myself, back when we were still children. A rookery that fell into disuse ages ago― I thought I would show it to you.

[Their vessel makes Jill uneasy--Clive is easily many times heavier than himself at 15--but her eyes soften at his explanation.]

Your escape.

[Away from his mother, his place in the family. Did he pretend to be free of duty, then?]

Funny how that manages to give me some peace of mind. I'm glad you had somewhere that was yours and yours alone to retreat to, Clive.

It wasn't as grand as all that.

[ An escape, Clive means. He hadn't even thought of it as such, he recalls: just a place to be when everything became too much, which made him feel worse for running away. Not a place to be himself, but a place where he could be nothing. To not exist, the way he'd sometimes thought the world wanted of him.

He doesn't want to say all that. So he rows, eyes cast towards the quickly-approaching island in the distance, without looking at Jill. He doesn't want to upset her. ]

But it's high time I finally showed you all of me.

[Her heart aches with love for him. It's an honor to be his confidant, his partner, and to simply be a part of his life. To be the one he wishes to share all these parts of himself with feels too good to be true.]

I hope you've come to realize that every time you where here, I must have been missing your company.

[That young girl would be over the moon to see where she is now.]

Every time you were out of sight... though I can't say much has changed in that regard over the years.

[ Oh. Blue eyes flick back to Jill unwittingly, as if he's surprised by this new revelation. He is, a little. In childhood, he'd been so desperate to carry the weight of everything he'd yet to come to terms with― it humbles him to think of what he'd overlooked in those moment of teenage angst.

He softens, as he paddles them both across the last leg of their journey. The rickety skiff hits the edge of the island's rocky shore, and he gets out first to extend the same hand that he knows he'll always extend to Jill, in every place and in every situation. ]

I was such a child. I should have given more thought to what I had right in front of me.

[ He waits until Jill hops on shore to bring her hand up to press a soft kiss to her knuckles, careful and reverent. ]

―The rookery's not far from here. Let's go.

[ And, as promised, it's just over the hill: a little thing, sturdy on its wooden legs despite the years. Clive gestures towards it, and motions for her to go in first if she'd like. ]

You said it yourself: you were still a boy.

[A boy that deserved to be loved and cherished by both of his parents. Anabella is the easiest to hate, but as Jill grows older and she spends more time with the Hideaway children, she can't imagine being a parent turning a blind eye to how Clive was treated. Everyone saw it. How could his father allow it?

Jill takes Clive's hand allows him to guide them along. With a glance to him, she heads inside, ducking beneath some low hanging greenery that's forced its way in over the years.]

It's very quiet here.

[Again, she's glad he had this place to simply exist.]

[ The space is small but tidy, with a thin layer of dust covering some of the items that have sat untouched for years. Clive finds a stool for Jill to sit on if she wants, though he runs a palm over the surface of the seat to clean it off first.

Around them are small trinkets that she might recognize: a few wooden toys, blocks to arrange in to simple castles, a blanket that looks like it might have belonged in the barracks. There's a stack of armor pieces and charred leathers that Clive now knows that Torgal brought in from Phoenix Gate; the practice sword has already been retrieved and displayed on his wall of trinkets back at the Hideaway. It's an altogether lonely little spot, but Clive looks upon it with fondness as he crouches by a small rocking horse toy and tips it with an index finger to watch it sway. ]

Very quiet. And far enough away from the castle that I could pretend I had nothing to do with everything that was in it.

[ His mother, his training, his failures. He glances towards Jill, blue eyes soft. ]

I used to feel... so angry, at times. So frustrated with everything that I failed to be. I would look at myself and wonder, sometimes, why it was that I was born at all.

[She acknowledges the stool with a polite nod and a smile, but she's more interested in his little collection here. Clive does like his mementos. His wall at the Hideaway, his collection of books he once had in his room, this place. He's far more sentimental than some would give him credit for. It's just one of many things Jill adores about him.

Terrible, that he would find more comfort here than in his mother's arms. Jill's memories of her own mother fade with each passing year, but she does remember her embrace. Enjoying it. Seeking it out for comfort, and longing for it once she found herself in Rosaria, knowing she'd never see her parents again. She knows her mother mourned her. Anabella likely only ever mourned that Clive was born at all.]

It was cruel that you were made to feel that way. [And, again, his father was not innocent in that. Jill steps over to Clive to put a hand on his arm, nothing but sympathy in her eyes.] I wish I had the courage and the words then to tell you I saw it. That you weren't alone.

[But, as she'd only just said: they were children. So young.]

[ So young. All of them too young for the trials that came too early. Jill had everything taken from her― her homeland to the Blight, her family by Rosaria― and yet, she still had so much grace for the family that displaced her. So much so that she's still here, with him, placing her heart in his undeserving hands.

She's more than anyone deserves. The strongest, noblest soul that Clive knows. He feels her touch against his arm, and feels bolstered in a way that he knows nothing and no one else could ever replicate. ]

I wasn't. [ Turning to her, he reaches with both hands to frame her shoulders. Gently, but firmly. ] I know now that you were the home that I'd returned to, after spending my darkest hours in this place.

[ She would always find him, and would always smile at him with those beautiful, sad eyes― almost as if she knew, and didn't have the heart to say. ]

I was never alone, Jill. Because I had you.

[To know, even belatedly, soothes something in her heart. She smiles as she places her hands on his wrists, holding simply to hold.]

And you'll never be alone. Because you have me.

[There are more people in his life that openly care for him now, and Jill is so very grateful for that. People that love him for him, and not for any title or banner or service. As it always should have been.

But she has no plan to ever leave his side. She's meant to be wherever he is.]

[ Because you have me.

It's indescribable, how that makes him feel. Warm, proud, full of purpose. Like he finally has the courage to do anything it takes to make sure that there's a kind, gentle world that he and Jill can live in until the end of their days, like he could endure anything just for the barest glimpse of Jill's smile.

He loves her. She must know― and she does. They've held this truth for ages now, sanctified it in their silence. But it bears saying, and more importantly, Clive wants to say it. Needs to. It's an emotion decades in the making, fortified and forged in pain and uncertainty and everything they've ever shared during a lifetime that's been more difficult than not.

He loves her. He lifts one hand off Jill's shoulder to brush a piece of hair from her face, and he thinks he must be trembling. ]

You are everything to me.

[ A thumb sweeps over the crest of her cheekbones. ]

My moon, my stars, my life. Jill― [ His breath shudders once, but steadies on the next exhale. ]

―I love you.

[She does know. She's never happier than she is beside him. These new days together, embracing the adoration and respect between them, have been some of the best of her life. As she looks upon the face of the man she loves, she can see how important she is to him, even without the words. It feels right. They're supposed to be together. Everything that's happened--good and bad--has led them here.

So, when he says the words, Jill isn't surprised. Her thumbs brush over his wrists, hoping he can feel it through his armor, her absolute love and support. He loves her, and she loves him, and all is right in the world. Jill can feel her eyes grow misty, smile rounding her cheeks, and she cuts the short distance between them to embrace him.]

Oh, I know. I know. I love you, too.

[She sighs because it is such a relief to finally say the words without stealing the moment from him. The thought makes her laugh, along with the giddy joy of hearing him say the words, and she squeezes him as tightly as she can.]

[ I know has never sounded so sweet, but it's beaten, handily, by I love you, too. His heart swells at the sight of her smile, and nearly bursts when she laughs and pulls her arms around him.

This is the moment he wants to remember until the day he dies. Clive returns the embrace, arms around her middle and face tucked into her hair, eyes a little moist from his own surplus of emotion; he keeps her there for as long as he can manage until the need to kiss her becomes too much to bear, and he dislodges himself for just long enough to tip Jill's chin and press their lips together, sweet and soft. ]

I love you, [ he murmurs again, between kisses. ] I love you, Jill.

[ Like he can't stop saying it, now that he has. It's ridiculous, unfitting of a man well into his thirties, but he doesn't care. ]

[Facing an onslaught of love and sweet kisses, Jill can only laugh between returning those kisses and taking in his happiness.]

I love you, Clive.

[And how easy and effortless that is.]

I can't imagine not loving you. I've loved you nearly my whole life.

[Even when she thought him dead. Even at his worst, when he thought he killed his brother. Nothing could change how she feels.]

[ Clive finally relinquishes the kisses, mostly because he thinks he might smother Jill with them. A breath, slightly short, and he bumps foreheads with her briefly, rubbing noses before he allows her a bit more grace and space. ]

And if you'd do me the honor, may you love me for the rest of it.

[ Together, always. ]

I want my life to be yours.

[Jill closes her eyes as she indulges in his affections. She breathes him in, and when he speaks, her eyes open. Hesitant. Curious. Hopeful.]

Careful. Those sound like vows, Clive.

[... are they?]

[ Ah. Blue eyes widen, and the look on Clive's face says oh shit. ]

I－ [ Invisible dog ears droop. ] ―They are. As much of them as I can make in the moment, mind.

[ Fumbling a little: ] ―I've no rings ready. [ Malewife panic!!! ]

[Oh. Oops. Jill's eyes widen as she realizes she's just caused a panic when she truly didn't mean to--and it makes her heart jump in turn. He's said yes, essentially, but she didn't mean to make him feel unprepared.]

Ah--[In her panic, she grabs his face. Calm!! They've got this.] Wait. It's alright. I didn't mean to put you on the spot, Clive.

[She laughs, jittery, apologetic.]

The answer would be yes, always.

[ Torn between polarities: being impossibly happy that Jill says yes, and a little mortified at himself for jumping the proverbial gun. Clive clears his throat, nuzzles against the palm of Jill's hand, and closes his eyes for a brief moment to regroup.

Panic, begone. Thirty-three years into his life, and he still feels like a boy in front of the woman he loves. ]

―When all of this is over. I promise you, Jill.

[ Rings, his future, a title that isn't Outlaw. He would like to be her husband, if only she'll let him. ]

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😭😭😭😭😭😭

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

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